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Post by Soccerhouse on Oct 21, 2019 20:33:37 GMT -5
Interesting twitter thread - Soccer Parenting Association
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Post by soccernotfootball on Oct 22, 2019 7:38:16 GMT -5
Good thread... I've seen it firsthand.
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Post by oldcoach on Oct 22, 2019 8:09:29 GMT -5
This cracks me up. “Near desperate parents”. Lol. For every potentially bad coach there are probably 200 unobjective bad parents whose little superstar would be in the national pool if it wasn’t for the evil coach holding them back.
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Post by soccernotfootball on Oct 22, 2019 8:31:53 GMT -5
"5. This is not about crazy soccer parents lawnmower-ing for their child. This is not about entitled players not willing to suck it up and work harder. This is simply about reckless coaches who should likely not be leading teams - and players and parents who feel powerless."
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Post by oldcoach on Oct 22, 2019 8:50:53 GMT -5
Unfortunately it is about hover parents. It comes down to this- if my kid is sitting on the bench the coach is evil and it’s all political. If my kid is playing more and other kids are on the bench then the coach is doing what is right for the team. Bottom line is most parents can’t be objective sometimes me included even though I was on the coaching side for many years.
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Post by superdude on Oct 22, 2019 9:11:18 GMT -5
I'd agree -- coaches that don't play a < u14 kid for weeks at a time who have met all the training obligations and demands of the coach and haven't spoken a single word to the player are evil.
Spin it anyway you want but good constant communication is vital.
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Post by soccernotfootball on Oct 22, 2019 9:19:47 GMT -5
Unfortunately it is about hover parents. It comes down to this- if my kid is sitting on the bench the coach is evil and it’s all political. If my kid is playing more and other kids are on the bench then the coach is doing what is right for the team. Bottom line is most parents can’t be objective sometimes me included even though I was on the coaching side for many years. Again, read the thread and stop with the generalization. Of course there are many instances of what you are referring to... but the thread isn't talking about that scenario. |
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Post by oldcoach on Oct 22, 2019 9:39:26 GMT -5
I’ve read the thread. It’s absurd. I went to the website “soccer parents association”. It’s absurd. I’ve coached at a fairly high level and now my kid plays at a fairly high level. No coach is going to please every parent or every player. That is not their job. Are there coaches that are demeaning, sure but in my experience most parent/coach issues come from playing time and parents viewing their kids through rose-colored glasses. I will say I don’t like the trend of clubs building teams with 18-20 players which exasperates these issues.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Oct 22, 2019 9:59:46 GMT -5
I don't agree with everything Skye Eddy Bruce (the founder) has to say, but she has some great ideas and is always an interesting educated listen. For example she has the opinion that parents shouldn't watch their kids practice etc.
Soccer Parenting Association
Our Mission is to Inspire Players by Empowering Parents
We believe a strong and supportive community of level-headed and like-minded parents and coaches will inspire players.
We believe a more collaborative environment between coach, parent, club, and player is in the best interest of player development.
We believe when parents seek information about how to best support their player, great things will happen.
We believe youth soccer parents will be difference makers when it comes to improving the game.
I've always advocated that parents are part of the solution vs always treating them as the problem. Yes, there are bad parents out there, I've probably been one of them at times --- but the parents can help -- educate, communicate, educate and then communicate some more. Most parents are naive, selfish and only have little johnny or carly in mind -- open their eyes to the process, explain to them why, what, when, and how.
This place is at its best when folks disagree, so love the dialogue -- the question remains then how do we improve the player, coach and parent dynamic?
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Post by soccernotfootball on Oct 22, 2019 10:00:17 GMT -5
I’ve read the thread. It’s absurd. I went to the website “soccer parents association”. It’s absurd. I’ve coached at a fairly high level and now my kid plays at a fairly high level. No coach is going to please every parent or every player. That is not their job. Are there coaches that are demeaning, sure but in my experience most parent/coach issues come from playing time and parents viewing their kids through rose-colored glasses. I will say I don’t like the trend of clubs building teams with 18-20 players which exasperates these issues. Ok, never mind. It's obvious, considering your background and kid's playing background, that all coaches are infallible. If only those stupid parents would just STFU. |
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Post by oldcoach on Oct 22, 2019 10:36:40 GMT -5
I’ve read the thread. It’s absurd. I went to the website “soccer parents association”. It’s absurd. I’ve coached at a fairly high level and now my kid plays at a fairly high level. No coach is going to please every parent or every player. That is not their job. Are there coaches that are demeaning, sure but in my experience most parent/coach issues come from playing time and parents viewing their kids through rose-colored glasses. I will say I don’t like the trend of clubs building teams with 18-20 players which exasperates these issues. Ok, never mind. It's obvious, considering your background and kid's playing background, that all coaches are infallible. If only those stupid parents would just STFU. Hey I didn’t mean that to come across as harsh as it was. Obviously there are bad coaches out there. I could cite numerous examples but I guess I wont. I just have had to deal with in the past a number of unreasonable parents who slandered or complained about good coaches because they could not be objective about their child. Now I’m on the parent sideline so I certainly see both sides. Also I did not mean to imply that my kid is a world beater lol. It really doesn’t matter what level she is as long as she is having fun. Now I will STFU. |
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Post by mistergrinch on Oct 22, 2019 14:53:15 GMT -5
Ok, never mind. It's obvious, considering your background and kid's playing background, that all coaches are infallible. If only those stupid parents would just STFU. Hey I didn’t mean that to come across as harsh as it was. Obviously there are bad coaches out there. I could cite numerous examples but I guess I wont. I just have had to deal with in the past a number of unreasonable parents who slandered or complained about good coaches because they could not be objective about their child. Now I’m on the parent sideline so I certainly see both sides. Also I did not mean to imply that my kid is a world beater lol. It really doesn’t matter what level she is as long as she is having fun. Now I will STFU. Maybe if you couldn't see both sides as a coach - it says quite a bit about you as a coach.
Just sayin.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Oct 22, 2019 15:04:52 GMT -5
You have to remember most parents send their kids to training 3-4 days a week, travel all around the south east spending $100s of dollars and are completley in the dark on where the kids stands with regards to the club and player retention.
Are they considered a top talent? Will they be retained the following season? Is there discussion about changing their position? Does the coach like or dislike the players attitude? Does your kid have a good work ethic? What does your kid need to improve on, what are their strengths, weaknesses and given they are kids, they have a laundry lists of weaknesses -- are these weaknesses being addressed during training sessions? Are mistakes corrected? Yes, our club had mandatory player evals, many didn't do them. Wish it was enforced, very helpful for the player even if its just going through the motion.
To be fair -- I'd say 80% of my kids coaches have been phenomenal coaches -- quality individuals, great coaches and upstanding professionals. I'd have my kids play for them again any day of the week. Communication can always be improved (broken record) -- I do not want to have to approach coaches, prefer they either talk to the kid or ask to discuss with parents. I've also had a kid email a coach one what he/she needed to do to improve and the coach's response was you can ask for a release if your not happy etc without even answering the question......... I talk to coaches all the time, but usually it's rarely about my kid, it's just general friendly conversation etc.
sorry final edit ---
you have parents with kids on 7th/8th teams that are truly also naive about the process. Not dogging the kids on those teams, but probably what the poster is referring to also
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Post by oldcoach on Oct 22, 2019 22:39:04 GMT -5
Hey I didn’t mean that to come across as harsh as it was. Obviously there are bad coaches out there. I could cite numerous examples but I guess I wont. I just have had to deal with in the past a number of unreasonable parents who slandered or complained about good coaches because they could not be objective about their child. Now I’m on the parent sideline so I certainly see both sides. Also I did not mean to imply that my kid is a world beater lol. It really doesn’t matter what level she is as long as she is having fun. Now I will STFU. Maybe if you couldn't see both sides as a coach - it says quite a bit about you as a coach.
Just sayin.
I know you are just taking a shot but in some ways you are absolutely correct. I am a very different person than the 20 something unmarried coach getting his A License then I am now as a almost 50 dad watching his kid play. There is a big difference in maturity and perspective. It still doesn’t change the fact that many parents can’t be objective about their own kids. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on Oct 23, 2019 6:15:42 GMT -5
Maybe if you couldn't see both sides as a coach - it says quite a bit about you as a coach.
Just sayin.
I know you are just taking a shot but in some ways you are absolutely correct. I am a very different person than the 20 something unmarried coach getting his A License then I am now as a almost 50 dad watching his kid play. There is a big difference in maturity and perspective. It still doesn’t change the fact that many parents can’t be objective about their own kids. I have had some really good coaches, one ok coach and one really bad coach for my kids. Interestingly, the older the coach the better the coach in our experience. The 20 somethings just haven't known how to communicate to the kids or the parents. The 40 somethings have. The 30 somethings it is hit or miss. Whether they have kids themselves has not been as strong of a factor thus far as their age. So I commend you for recognizing how your life experiences have changed your perspective. Now if only the coaches could try to be empathic and understand things from the kids' and parents' perspectives it would help a lot. |
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