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Post by averagesoccerparent on Sept 26, 2019 7:36:09 GMT -5
So here we are just a few weeks into the season and the feedback from the players and parents about the new coach is - what a dud. The coach came in and took over a team that was basically intact from the prior season and added what looked like some good players during tryouts. Expectations were set high for the players and parents which was a good thing. There was a lot of excitement after tryouts and it appeared that some really good things could happen. The coach has (and has had) teams at the highest levels. Surely this is going to be a good experience. Right?
But since then, whomp-whomp. The coach runs a fairly repetitive practice every session. There seems to be more running drills than soccer drills. There is little feedback given to the team on areas of focus or improvement. When players ask what they can work on in private training or in general the reply is basically "be better". The irony is when players ask for feedback of any type, they are typically rewarded with significantly less playing time in the next game. Maybe that is just coincidence - that has occurred 5 times. The coach has been seen during practice just sitting and watching during drills with no interaction with the team. During games, same thing. It is almost like they are looking at their watch waiting to get to their other teams.
The club is known for not really caring about player/parent feedback unless you are "in the circle of trust". So if the really big club won't help (as a matter of fact it will likely result in a negative experience in reaching out), and the coach is beyond approach, most of us feel we are just stuck. The other issue though is the team will have to travel out of state and the area to play some games and tournaments that aren't cheap. It is one thing to chalk up a season with little player development and hope for the best in 11 months. But to have to dole out some serious money to fund this type of mediocrity is like salt in the wound.
Any advice other than - Sorry but you are out of luck?
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Post by Strikeorkeep on Sept 26, 2019 7:53:47 GMT -5
Do all the parents feel the same? Can you get a group of parents and request a meeting with coach? Know anyone on the board at the club? They can assist sometimes with some clarity or direction.
We've had friends who have gone through similar situations and in past, they've had a meeting with the coach to ask questions, clear the air, etc. One time, a friend had to go to DOC due to being ignored by request to meet with coach.
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Post by nthsoccerdad19 on Sept 26, 2019 7:54:45 GMT -5
What is the coaches name? I would call him out on here so maybe he will see it and improve.
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Post by averagesoccerparent on Sept 26, 2019 8:02:40 GMT -5
Do all the parents feel the same? Can you get a group of parents and request a meeting with coach? Know anyone on the board at the club? They can assist sometimes with some clarity or direction. We've had friends who have gone through similar situations and in past, they've had a meeting with the coach to ask questions, clear the air, etc. One time, a friend had to go to DOC due to being ignored by request to meet with coach. All - no. A majority - yes. The issue on getting the parents together is what you may imagine. Fear of retribution from the coach or club toward the player and being branded a complainer. Also, complaining about a coach who also coaches a team at highest level at the club (not ours - but reeaall close) then worrying about what other top level coaches view/feel about those parents/players. |
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Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 26, 2019 8:18:45 GMT -5
I would suggest at first a casual friendly conversation with the appropriate director at your club - academy, boys or girls director or is there anyone in that circle of trust you can reach out to? Often those individuals have a sense of the internal discussions at the club.
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Post by averagesoccerparent on Sept 26, 2019 8:25:15 GMT -5
I would suggest at first a casual friendly conversation with the appropriate director at your club - academy, boys or girls director or is there anyone in that circle of trust you can reach out to? Often those individuals have a sense of the internal discussions at the club. Great point but we are not in the circle. We have always told our player, do the work and you will ultimate be rewarded. So we have never had conversations with anyone in the inner circle. They wouldn't know us because we have never tried to work the system. Is that a mistake, in this situation it appears maybe so. But I have seen too many people effectively buy influence, rely on social (out of soccer) circles, or sibling/group pressure to get what they want at the club. |
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Post by Strikeorkeep on Sept 26, 2019 8:38:48 GMT -5
I would suggest at first a casual friendly conversation with the appropriate director at your club - academy, boys or girls director or is there anyone in that circle of trust you can reach out to? Often those individuals have a sense of the internal discussions at the club. Great point but we are not in the circle. We have always told our player, do the work and you will ultimate be rewarded. So we have never had conversations with anyone in the inner circle. They wouldn't know us because we have never tried to work the system. Is that a mistake, in this situation it appears maybe so. But I have seen too many people effectively buy influence, rely on social (out of soccer) circles, or sibling/group pressure to get what they want at the club. I think there is a big difference between "playing the game" as a parent vs just wanting to get some basic questions answered from a coach on your child's development. We struggled with the same thing as I cannot stand parents who work the system. But I dont think there is anything wrong with asking questions to people in the inner circle. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on Sept 26, 2019 9:19:12 GMT -5
Sounds like a tough situation. I have no idea how to fix that, but a team (parent) meeting with the coach might help. Maybe saying something like...we are a high level team with high aspirations and want more intensity and feedback from the coach...
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Post by mistergrinch on Sept 26, 2019 9:30:30 GMT -5
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Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 26, 2019 10:39:43 GMT -5
Well -- I would say in general --
talk with parents and parents who have been at the club and understand the club dynamics of communications and protocols -- team manager is always a good first stop
always try to talk to the coach first before going above them.
If talking with the coach isn't an option, go to appropriate director
During all conversations remain positive and civil.
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toni4
Jr. Academy
Posts: 19
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Post by toni4 on Sept 26, 2019 10:40:54 GMT -5
Tell us who the coach is already
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Post by soccernoleuk on Sept 26, 2019 11:30:55 GMT -5
Tell us who the coach is already Knowing at a minimum which club would be helpful. I am sure there are people posting here that can give more specific advice based on the club this is taking place at...maybe even giving a specific name of a person to go speak with about the issue(s). |
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Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 26, 2019 11:34:02 GMT -5
I would steer away from disclosing coach/club on this one --- better to discuss with the club vs airing dirty laundry on some garbage soccer forum run my lunatic parents.........
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Post by hotspur1 on Sept 26, 2019 11:42:23 GMT -5
Sorry if I missed this but what age and level?
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Post by SoccerMom on Sept 26, 2019 12:14:45 GMT -5
Go speak with the coach first, if that doesn't help then go to the DOC. I wouldn't try to rally the parents either, i have seen it many times that when it comes down to actually complain they won't have your back. Only talk to them about your issue and not others.
I wouldn't disclose the coach name here, but maybe if you specify the club some people can help if they are in the "inner circle". Then you can communicate with them via PM
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Post by cleansheet on Sept 26, 2019 12:33:31 GMT -5
So here we are just a few weeks into the season and the feedback from the players and parents about the new coach is - what a dud. The coach came in and took over a team that was basically intact from the prior season and added what looked like some good players during tryouts. Expectations were set high for the players and parents which was a good thing. There was a lot of excitement after tryouts and it appeared that some really good things could happen. The coach has (and has had) teams at the highest levels. Surely this is going to be a good experience. Right? But since then, whomp-whomp. The coach runs a fairly repetitive practice every session. There seems to be more running drills than soccer drills. There is little feedback given to the team on areas of focus or improvement. When players ask what they can work on in private training or in general the reply is basically "be better". The irony is when players ask for feedback of any type, they are typically rewarded with significantly less playing time in the next game. Maybe that is just coincidence - that has occurred 5 times. The coach has been seen during practice just sitting and watching during drills with no interaction with the team. During games, same thing. It is almost like they are looking at their watch waiting to get to their other teams. The club is known for not really caring about player/parent feedback unless you are "in the circle of trust". So if the really big club won't help (as a matter of fact it will likely result in a negative experience in reaching out), and the coach is beyond approach, most of us feel we are just stuck. The other issue though is the team will have to travel out of state and the area to play some games and tournaments that aren't cheap. It is one thing to chalk up a season with little player development and hope for the best in 11 months. But to have to dole out some serious money to fund this type of mediocrity is like salt in the wound. Any advice other than - Sorry but you are out of luck? Don’t trust the coach, club or the other parents. They will all stab you in the back. You must attack this solo and behind the scenes. Keep it to yourself. Talk to the coach. Be positive and confident. Give the coach some compliments and say you avoid the drama and act alone. |
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Post by averagesoccerparent on Sept 26, 2019 12:35:39 GMT -5
Well -- I would say in general -- talk with parents and parents who have been at the club and understand the club dynamics of communications and protocols -- team manager is always a good first stop always try to talk to the coach first before going above them. If talking with the coach isn't an option, go to appropriate director During all conversations remain positive and civil. Good advice. We will try to reach out to the coach as a group and see what he has to say. Oh - and thank you to everyone for your input. All very good information and a lot for us to think about. |
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Post by atlfutboldad on Sept 26, 2019 14:24:55 GMT -5
I would first bring it to the DoC. Ask them to watch the coach's performance at a couple practices and a game and then you can discuss it further. You may have to deal with reprisal from the coach, it may be less likely coming from a higher level (assuming the DoC cares about how the teams are doing).
I've been in a situation like this a few times in my kid's years in club. I knew it wouldn't get better the following year (same coach or equally bad scenario) and all these clubs were small clubs. Since we didn't have other options at the same clubs, moving on was the only option. Last year at a big club, while her teams didn't do very well, all the parents could tell that the coaches were really trying, the girls simply weren't performing (mine included), so there was no need to move. If you feel your child (and the team) are getting better, I'm really not concerned about W-L.
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Post by soccerfan07 on Sept 26, 2019 19:30:13 GMT -5
So here we are just a few weeks into the season and the feedback from the players and parents about the new coach is - what a dud. The coach came in and took over a team that was basically intact from the prior season and added what looked like some good players during tryouts. Expectations were set high for the players and parents which was a good thing. There was a lot of excitement after tryouts and it appeared that some really good things could happen. The coach has (and has had) teams at the highest levels. Surely this is going to be a good experience. Right? But since then, whomp-whomp. The coach runs a fairly repetitive practice every session. There seems to be more running drills than soccer drills. There is little feedback given to the team on areas of focus or improvement. When players ask what they can work on in private training or in general the reply is basically "be better". The irony is when players ask for feedback of any type, they are typically rewarded with significantly less playing time in the next game. Maybe that is just coincidence - that has occurred 5 times. The coach has been seen during practice just sitting and watching during drills with no interaction with the team. During games, same thing. It is almost like they are looking at their watch waiting to get to their other teams. The club is known for not really caring about player/parent feedback unless you are "in the circle of trust". So if the really big club won't help (as a matter of fact it will likely result in a negative experience in reaching out), and the coach is beyond approach, most of us feel we are just stuck. The other issue though is the team will have to travel out of state and the area to play some games and tournaments that aren't cheap. It is one thing to chalk up a season with little player development and hope for the best in 11 months. But to have to dole out some serious money to fund this type of mediocrity is like salt in the wound. Any advice other than - Sorry but you are out of luck? I don’t think we are on the same team but this sounds amazingly familiar. |
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Post by rifle on Sept 26, 2019 21:05:41 GMT -5
My $.02.
Do not try to rally other parents with a common grievance. Drop that idea immediately. No good will come from that.
If it’s important enough.. Talk to the coach like two grown ups and say whatever you need to say. This is about your kid and his/her team. If you stir up a witch hunt it will only backfire and that kind of (parent) reputation will follow your kid until he/she quits the game.
The only way to fix a dud coach is to vote with your feet next June. Get a comfortable chair, shut up and watch the kids play. You might even enjoy it if you stop trying to fix it for your kid.
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Post by footyfan on Sept 27, 2019 7:06:48 GMT -5
My $.02. Do not try to rally other parents with a common grievance. Drop that idea immediately. No good will come from that. If it’s important enough.. Talk to the coach like two grown ups and say whatever you need to say. This is about your kid and his/her team. If you stir up a witch hunt it will only backfire and that kind of (parent) reputation will follow your kid until he/she quits the game. The only way to fix a dud coach is to vote with your feet next June. Get a comfortable chair, shut up and watch the kids play. You might even enjoy it if you stop trying to fix it for your kid. Lol this take. It could have been worded more like an adult would, but the end message is correct. Wait until the end of the year and then leave. My child was on a team and the two dads that "talked like grown ups" with the coach and saw their kids put on the bench. If the coach can get away with other behavior because they are a bigwig, then they can get away with benching kids too. |
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Post by soccerloafer on Sept 27, 2019 8:20:20 GMT -5
Hide some blow in his car and call the police. Problem solved.
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Post by atlfutboldad on Sept 27, 2019 10:39:05 GMT -5
It sounds like this family is at a remote branch for a big club. I'd personally talk to the DoC (unless this coach is their relation OR the coach is a director at the branch) before deciding to leave. Perhaps this is a problem they don't know about. Perhaps they won't even care, if that's the case, then you leave for sure.
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Post by rifle on Sept 28, 2019 22:27:18 GMT -5
My $.02. Do not try to rally other parents with a common grievance. Drop that idea immediately. No good will come from that. If it’s important enough.. Talk to the coach like two grown ups and say whatever you need to say. This is about your kid and his/her team. If you stir up a witch hunt it will only backfire and that kind of (parent) reputation will follow your kid until he/she quits the game. The only way to fix a dud coach is to vote with your feet next June. Get a comfortable chair, shut up and watch the kids play. You might even enjoy it if you stop trying to fix it for your kid. Lol this take. It could have been worded more like an adult would, but the end message is correct. Wait until the end of the year and then leave. My child was on a team and the two dads that "talked like grown ups" with the coach and saw their kids put on the bench. If the coach can get away with other behavior because they are a bigwig, then they can get away with benching kids too. We’re you one of the two? |
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Post by footyfan on Sept 29, 2019 15:30:34 GMT -5
Lol this take. It could have been worded more like an adult would, but the end message is correct. Wait until the end of the year and then leave. My child was on a team and the two dads that "talked like grown ups" with the coach and saw their kids put on the bench. If the coach can get away with other behavior because they are a bigwig, then they can get away with benching kids too. We’re you one of the two? No. Thought about it until then. |
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Post by soccerguru on Sept 29, 2019 23:52:58 GMT -5
Communication is simple.
If you like the coach tell him the truth, if you don't tell him the truth. Just make sure you do it in a positive manner. Some coaches are egocentric and will think you're a dum ass and some coaches appreciate the advice. I've seen it happen 10 x. if they are truly there for the kids and they will take notice.
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Post by oraclesfriend on Sept 30, 2019 6:57:08 GMT -5
Communication is simple. If you like the coach tell him the truth, if you don't tell him the truth. Just make sure you do it in a positive manner. Some coaches are egocentric and will think you're a dum ass and some coaches appreciate the advice. I've seen it happen 10 x. if they are truly there for the kids and they will take notice. Problem is that some of them SAY they are there for the kids, but don't act like it. Telling a coach that you don't like them is likely to get your kid sitting on the bench. How can you tell a coach that you don't like them in a positive manner? I am not trying to be an ass, but I would like to know your opinion on this for real? |
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Post by rifle on Sept 30, 2019 17:22:42 GMT -5
50% of coaches are there for the paycheck unfortunately and that is a very generous estimate. that’s exactly the way American “club” soccer is built. Opportunists seeking willing suckers |
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Post by slickdaddy96 on Oct 1, 2019 7:13:11 GMT -5
Communication is simple. If you like the coach tell him the truth, if you don't tell him the truth. Just make sure you do it in a positive manner. Some coaches are egocentric and will think you're a dum ass and some coaches appreciate the advice. I've seen it happen 10 x. if they are truly there for the kids and they will take notice. Problem is that some of them SAY they are there for the kids, but don't act like it. Telling a coach that you don't like them is likely to get your kid sitting on the bench. How can you tell a coach that you don't like them in a positive manner? I am not trying to be an ass, but I would like to know your opinion on this for real? That's the issue. There is no good way to approach a coach and tell them you don't like what they are doing. If you go to their boss, most of the time the boss is just going to tell them what is going on as well. So sometimes you just got to mind your business, hope for another coach the next year, or leave if the same coach is coming back. I've seen kids cut the next tryout for their dad's being the vocal parents about playing time, etc.... That told me all i ever had to know about talking to a coach to critique. Now I have asked my son's coach clarification on stuff that happened within games or what my kid was being told to do, but our coach is receptive to stuff like that. Usually what my kid tells me isn't always what the coach meant and vice versa, so clarification sometimes can cure a lot of woes and issues on the parent side. It is likely in some instances the parent doesn't understand the coach's mindset and what he is trying to accomplish since there are so many ways to play soccer tactically. |
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Post by Goalkeeper Dad on Oct 1, 2019 7:53:02 GMT -5
Problem is that some of them SAY they are there for the kids, but don't act like it. Telling a coach that you don't like them is likely to get your kid sitting on the bench. How can you tell a coach that you don't like them in a positive manner? I am not trying to be an ass, but I would like to know your opinion on this for real? That's the issue. There is no good way to approach a coach and tell them you don't like what they are doing. If you go to their boss, most of the time the boss is just going to tell them what is going on as well. So sometimes you just got to mind your business, hope for another coach the next year, or leave if the same coach is coming back. I've seen kids cut the next tryout for their dad's being the vocal parents about playing time, etc.... That told me all i ever had to know about talking to a coach to critique. Now I have asked my son's coach clarification on stuff that happened within games or what my kid was being told to do, but our coach is receptive to stuff like that. Usually what my kid tells me isn't always what the coach meant and vice versa, so clarification sometimes can cure a lot of woes and issues on the parent side. It is likely in some instances the parent doesn't understand the coach's mindset and what he is trying to accomplish since there are so many ways to play soccer tactically. I would agree with you about keeping your mouth shut if you are on a scholarship or receiving money from the club, but when you are a customer dishing out thousand of dollars their is an expectation of service. Remember the club and the coach get paid by you and they work for you. As stated before (I hate to say it) if you are not getting what you deserve then you leave the club and express your concerns to other people. I do agree if you are at a big club and you are the only one that leaves it doesn't hurt them but you can go get what you deserve, if a multitude of people leave that hurts the clubs pocket and then they will work harder. |
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