Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 18, 2015 16:18:15 GMT -5
yes. should be direct communication. varies a little by age, as they get older it shifts more towards the player. But at younger ages, coaches need to provide feedback to parents both positive and negative!!
Post by spectator on Sept 18, 2015 23:03:49 GMT -5
Honestly - after U14, direct communication only as needed. Most if not all coach communication needs to be with the player not the parent unless it's something that requires parental involvement.
Since U 14, my kid's coaches have all encouraged the player to call or text him or her with questions about their own development, questions or concerns. Any griping about playing time needs to wait 24 hours after any game and better have a valid argument behind it or they (coaches) view it as just griping not constructive.
This is how it in in high school, too - parents need to start weaning themselves from their player's coaches by U13-U14.
Post by touchlinedad on Sept 19, 2015 11:57:50 GMT -5
I agree that most communication after U14 should be to the player with the caveat that if a coach thinks a player is not responding, he should contact the parents. We all know that the teen-age brain is all over the place and sometimes messages are lost. If a coach thinks a player is loafing or not playing well and he doesn't think the player is responding, he should pull one of the parents aside and explain his concerns. I want players to mature and accept responsibility and do not approve of helicopter parenting, but let's remember that there's a big difference between a 13-year-old, a 16-year-old and an 18-year-old. If coaches aren't comfortable talking to parents at any age, they need to do something to improve that. In just about every instance, clear communication usually leads to a better outcome for all involved.
Honestly..I'm confused. I've got two middle school kids. My 8th grade son has played travel football and basketball , as well as soccer, baseball and soccer for his middle school. His coaches have always been open and fairly communicative about how he was doing and what he needs to work on. My 6th grade daughter, on the other hand, plays year round soccer; has played for then same coach for three seasons and we have casita try heard that communication at the u12 level should be between her and the coach. Our coach, and many others I'm aware ode, seem to want to keep the parents at arms legenth, as if this was important to the growth of the kids.
To this I say... Why?
I meet with my kids teachers on a regular basis; get report cards and progress reports and, if they are having a problem even more direct involvement would likely be appropriate.
Why is it assumed that my daughters growth in soccer is, in part, based upon her ability to interact with tbe coach without our facilitation or participation?
These are still kids and if the coach wants "buy in" on their coaching philosophy, involving the parents is not a bad idea. While I agree that conversations about playing time are problematic at best, the issue of what is effecting playing time is a legitimate issue.
I'm all for encouraging our kids to advocate for themselves; both on the field' at school and in life, that doesn't imply that we abdicate our role as parents at 12-14 years of age.
Post by silverback on Sept 21, 2015 13:00:39 GMT -5
Great response Shapo and your metaphor around teachers is spot on. Coaches are teachers and they need to share progress with parents who in turn should help their kids progress. Can't imagine waiting until the end of the semester to find out my kids grades. Parents pay a lot of money for high-level coaching and to think that most of the communication should go through a young teenager is crazy. While its critical that the coach/player communicate directly and develop a player/coach relationship, the parents should be included in these conversation when appropriate and more often (not the end of the season). You can't fix what you don't know and as also mentioned, direct communication should help the parents understand why their kids may or may not be playing as much as expected.
Great response Shapo and your metaphor around teachers is spot on. Coaches are teachers and they need to share progress with parents who in turn should help their kids progress. Can't imagine waiting until the end of the semester to find out my kids grades. Parents pay a lot of money for high-level coaching and to think that most of the communication should go through a young teenager is crazy. While its critical that the coach/player communicate directly and develop a player/coach relationship, the parents should be included in these conversation when appropriate and more often (not the end of the season). You can't fix what you don't know and as also mentioned, direct communication should help the parents understand why their kids may or may not be playing as much as expected.
Thanks...and thanks for ignoring the typos. ;-)
I feel really hamstrung. Our club fields are three miles from our house and my office. For youth sports, convenience has to play a part; but our frustration with the lack of communication has continued to increase. On the plus side, the girls are playing well and have won their first two matches playing up in Athena B. We will keep plugging along. What I've always told both my kids is that some day you will have a professor or boss that you really don't like. You need to find a way to deal with it. I just never thought my 11 year old would have to put that advice to use at this point in her life.
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