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Post by soccerlegacy on Feb 19, 2018 10:03:17 GMT -5
I was kind of curious with all the different and educated posters on here, has anyone decided that they were not going to play the "pay to play" game and drop down to a more manageable and affordable level of soccer?
The reason I ask is that I have a daughter that plays U12 and is a "more than decent" player. She's what I would consider a "bubble" player that potentially could be an ECNL, SRPL, and/or possibly could squeak into a DA slot. But looking at the rigors of time, cost, and obligation, I struggle with the "is it worth it?" question. She loves the game, but will she when it gets to that level? Is there a threat of burn-out? In the end, will she even want advance to play in college/ (I've heard some stories of girls that just want to walk away and enjoy college without all the pressure).
At such a young age (in my eyes, I mean we are talking about 11-12 year olds) I already feel like we are at a crossroad... do we pay ungodly sums of money for the higher level competition or find a home where she can still enjoy the game she loves, but might not get as much exposure if she decided to go on to college?
So my question is... has anyone here decided to drop out of the "push" to play higher and higher levels or know of anyone else that has? And if so what brought you to that decision and how has it worked out?
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Post by forsythsd on Feb 19, 2018 10:38:09 GMT -5
We did NOT drop out, and continued to pursue ever-higher levels of play. Then came an injury, a lost spot, a seemingly uncaring coach, and a burnt out child that decided to quit the sport altogether. Poof!
If we could do to it all over, we'd have stuck on the "3rd team" that practiced and traveled less, rather than moving up to higher teams that required more money and time.
The most fun my kid ever had with soccer was pickup games with friends at elementary school recess. Every move "up" from there decreased the fun and increased the time/money costs.
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Post by oldboy on Feb 19, 2018 11:21:28 GMT -5
I've seen lots of kids drop out over the years. Some miss it and come back quickly. Some never miss it and move on.
The real determining factor for parents should be the answer to this question: "Is my kid enjoying it?"
As long as the answer is yes, then let them push to whatever level they can achieve. They'll have setbacks, disappointments, and maybe even a little pain. That's competitive sports. But as long as they are enjoying the game, it all ends up worthwhile.
If the answer becomes no and remains no, then it's time to have a serious talk with them about why they're doing it. Maybe they don't enjoy the game. Maybe they've just ended up with a coach or a group of teammates they don't enjoy. Maybe a lot of things. Could be a need for change of scenery/coach/whatever. Could be they need to walk away from it and enjoy their youth in a different manner.
The one thing to never overlook is the importance of the coach on your kid's ability to love the game. A coach can crush a kid in the name of development. Another coach can take the same kid and slowly uncrush them. I've watched it happen where parents were on the verge of taking their kid out of the sport all together, but gave it one more year with a different coach and the kid went on to flourish.
Clubs and leagues are far less important than the person your kid spends 2, 3, 4, and more days per week learning from.
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Post by soccerlegacy on Feb 19, 2018 11:51:29 GMT -5
I've seen lots of kids drop out over the years. Some miss it and come back quickly. Some never miss it and move on. The real determining factor for parents should be the answer to this question: "Is my kid enjoying it?" As long as the answer is yes, then let them push to whatever level they can achieve. They'll have setbacks, disappointments, and maybe even a little pain. That's competitive sports. But as long as they are enjoying the game, it all ends up worthwhile. If the answer becomes no and remains no, then it's time to have a serious talk with them about why they're doing it. Maybe they don't enjoy the game. Maybe they've just ended up with a coach or a group of teammates they don't enjoy. Maybe a lot of things. Could be a need for change of scenery/coach/whatever. Could be they need to walk away from it and enjoy their youth in a different manner. The one thing to never overlook is the importance of the coach on your kid's ability to love the game. A coach can crush a kid in the name of development. Another coach can take the same kid and slowly uncrush them. I've watched it happen where parents were on the verge of taking their kid out of the sport all together, but gave it one more year with a different coach and the kid went on to flourish. Clubs and leagues are far less important than the person your kid spends 2, 3, 4, and more days per week learning from. See this is the tricky part... Yes she is enjoying it, but to forysthsd's point, she is enjoying it less... And thank you forsythsd, for sharing your insight!! I still think the most fun my daughter has had was playing pickup games at elementary school as well... a close second was on the first years of academy where the coaches actually tried to make it FUN while giving them solid foundational skills (and still being competitive). I just worry that we will venture too far down the rabbit hole only to realize that the enjoyment was being squeezed out of her, and for what?? All the money, time, and commitment?? Anyone else have experiences they would like to share?
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Post by Soccerhouse on Feb 19, 2018 12:51:58 GMT -5
2nd teams are often great spots for youth soccer. there are plenty of great coaches, who are sick of the travel and craziness of top teams. It's a challenge also, do more with less. Commitment with the players can sometimes be an issue, that's usually the only downfall.
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shaka
Jr. Academy
Posts: 96
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Post by shaka on Feb 19, 2018 16:12:40 GMT -5
I'm considering alternatives to club soccer. My girls are currently in academy program at a local,known club. I don't have any major complaints about the club that wouldn't also apply to almost all the other clubs. Ideally, I would have my girls playing at a Club with great coaching and not much emphasis or participation in tournament play until they are older. My 10 year old is labeled already as a great ecnl and DA Prospect. Shes only 10!
The DA, ECNL route doesn't interest me at this point at all. Being out of town on the weekends at such a young age doesn't seem right. The money is not as much of an issue even though it is hard to justify. The bigger issue is am I accelerating, increasing the odds for them to burnout? I do think our system of playing Club at such a young age, formalized and over instructive practices during the week, along with the games and then multiple tournaments is threatening to their longevity in the sport. When you combine those factors along with the pursuit of ODP, ecnl, da, etc the competitive pieces are just too much too soon. I think it's the exception for those that want to continue down that path. Maybe it's not just soccer but other Sports as well?
Ideally, my girls would be in a club with great coaching and a director who is on top of things in the program. Emphasis on technical development, creativity and a lot of free play. Moving the players around to different positions on the field and not making them position specialist until they are older.
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Post by fan on Feb 19, 2018 18:03:48 GMT -5
One of my kids scaled back involvement in soccer by moving to a club with a similar level of play but less of a time commitment (fewer/closer tournaments, fewer practices, closer to home). This was mostly done to be able to play other sports. I think it has made my child look forward to soccer more and look forward to the other sports while playing soccer. My child loves being on high school teams. Surprisingly my child was more successful at one of the other sports even after a relatively short period of time. We never would have known this if the soccer team had restricted playing other sports during the school year.
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Post by spectator on Feb 19, 2018 23:27:44 GMT -5
The road to play soccer in college is a journey - a marathon not a sprint. Cliche, yes but truth. The kid who is the standout at 11 or 12 years old may not be the key recruit at 16 or 17. How kids develop physically and mentally from 11 - 18 is all over the board.
The road to that top level in youth soccer is also a journey and so much sweeter when it's earned - especially with a team they love. I have seen and known parents and kids who constantly seek out that top level - going from multiple tryouts every year, hopping from club to club just to bump up a level - and truth be told, not one of those kids I know is about to go play in college next year. They didn't burn out - they just never got better - granted they were on 'top' level teams, but they were on the bench or non contributors who didn't catch the eye of college coaches; they were the divas who never passed or always tried to show in tournaments rather than play as a team.
So my advice - from the old soccer mom with a kid aging out this year - enjoy the journey. Let her play with kids and coaches she likes and trusts. Find that team with the same level of commitment - it will bring out her best and keep the joy in the game for her. She's 11 - with at least six crazy more years of this ahead. Finding that coach and team that fits her is way more vital at this age. Focus on developing the player.
Best thing that ever happened to my kid was her heartbreak at 12 when she didn't make that top team. She played on a second team with a coach who taught her well and played her every minute of every game to teach her the best of this game. Those skills, that lesson have made her resilient, strengthened her resolve when she's overlooked for larger players, and made her more determined to succeed. And she did. As her mom, I have been privileged to be part of this journey - this crazy marathon to where she will be next year and luckily we did it with an amazing coach and group of fellow players she trusts and loves.
So let your kid make her decision - ECNL or DA at 12 shouldn't be the end goal - or yes, she will burn out or like the kids I've seen, just stagnate and not get significantly better.
Again - just the two cents of the weathered soccer mom about to leave this madness. And I will miss it so! Enjoy the journey!
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Post by 04gparent on Feb 19, 2018 23:37:09 GMT -5
I can answer the question the other way. I have a daughter who is on an 04 girls DA team and she loves it. Yes they practice 4 times a week most weeks. For her team the practices are varied and not all are structured. I want to stress that she loves it. She likes the fact that her skill level allows her to perform well during Middle school yearly intramural competitions.
Do girls burn out yes. Girls burn out at all levels. I’ve seen girls burn out in Academy or even 3rd teams. I think the biggest reason girls burn out is the pressure placed by parents. IMO we as parents can help keep it fun by supporting them no matter the performance level on the field. IMO It will never be as fun in select age groups as Academy because the games actually count (sort of).
I am not advocating for one league or approach over the other. I think it’s too early to do so. Girls DA is in its first year. GDA, ECNL, SRPL, National league all travel about the same.
Our family has decided to take it one year at a time. We sit down in May and discuss as a family then make a decision before tryouts.
Finally I like the fact we can all share our perspectives here. I hope this helps.
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