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Post by soccermaxx72 on Apr 11, 2018 8:28:47 GMT -5
lets hear your thoughts
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Post by fanatic21 on Apr 11, 2018 11:35:46 GMT -5
I don't think I could stereotype any one club as having more obnoxious parents than another. I think it's usually a team thing (and often a coach has a pretty strong influence on the atmosphere); however, there are some clubs that are really cracking down and working hard to make sure parents are respectful - toward referees, opposing teams, etc. One of my daughters plays for a small club, and I've received frequent reminders from the DOC via email regarding parent and coach expectations and have even seen him at the fields and listened to him parents about not coaching players, yelling at refs, etc.
How about we change the question and ask which clubs have the best parents/coaches in terms of respect for the game?
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Post by Soccerhouse on Apr 11, 2018 12:06:06 GMT -5
First vote: whatever team my kids plays on
2nd vote: whatever team my kids play against
Seriously though, I generally have seen parent behavior get better over time, but parents will always be parents
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Post by soccerlegacy on Apr 11, 2018 12:41:16 GMT -5
My vote is for any club that is up by a large number and has either of these two things happen:
1st - The coach of the team that's winning keeps the pressure on and continues to try and run up the score
2nd - The parents of the team winning keep hollering and hooting and calling out for their team to score more goals.
I can't stand classlessness like that. There is one particular club that I have seen do this more than most, but that drives me nuts!
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Post by setpieces on Apr 11, 2018 14:31:40 GMT -5
My vote is for any club that is up by a large number and has either of these two things happen: 1st - The coach of the team that's winning keeps the pressure on and continues to try and run up the score 2nd - The parents of the team winning keep hollering and hooting and calling out for their team to score more goals. I can't stand classlessness like that. There is one particular club that I have seen do this more than most, but that drives me nuts! You think beating a team by as many goals as you're capable of is classless? In Europe, they coach the academy players to play hard for every minute of the game. That means no letting up or throttling back so the score doesn't look so lopsided. I think this is one of the things wrong with American soccer culture; the "everyone gets a participation trophy" mentality. Soccer is a game, a competition. If you are that much better than another team then the score should reflect it. Otherwise, you aren't playing up to your full potential. I know some people disagree with this statement, but trust me, the parents remember the final score much longer than the kids do.
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Post by soccerparent02 on Apr 11, 2018 17:31:32 GMT -5
Thank you. I hate playing teams whose parents want the other team to quit playing hard when the score is too many to not enough. That philosophy develops bad habits and injuries are more likely due to a lack of concentration.
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Post by oraclesfriend on Apr 11, 2018 20:00:58 GMT -5
My vote is for any club that is up by a large number and has either of these two things happen: 1st - The coach of the team that's winning keeps the pressure on and continues to try and run up the score 2nd - The parents of the team winning keep hollering and hooting and calling out for their team to score more goals. I can't stand classlessness like that. There is one particular club that I have seen do this more than most, but that drives me nuts! You think beating a team by as many goals as you're capable of is classless? In Europe, they coach the academy players to play hard for every minute of the game. That means no letting up or throttling back so the score doesn't look so lopsided. I think this is one of the things wrong with American soccer culture; the "everyone gets a participation trophy" mentality. Soccer is a game, a competition. If you are that much better than another team then the score should reflect it. Otherwise, you aren't playing up to your full potential. I know some people disagree with this statement, but trust me, the parents remember the final score much longer than the kids do. I agree with your statement overall. I have seen coaches (My daughter's coach has done this before) that keep the kids working hard but make them complete 10 passes in a row before they are allowed to shoot. This is not a bad compromise. It teaches a team to possess the ball and has them focus on a particular skillset. Some people have said in previous posts that this is more humiliating, but I disagree.
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Post by jash on Apr 11, 2018 21:38:20 GMT -5
You think beating a team by as many goals as you're capable of is classless? In Europe, they coach the academy players to play hard for every minute of the game. That means no letting up or throttling back so the score doesn't look so lopsided. I think this is one of the things wrong with American soccer culture; the "everyone gets a participation trophy" mentality. Soccer is a game, a competition. If you are that much better than another team then the score should reflect it. Otherwise, you aren't playing up to your full potential. I know some people disagree with this statement, but trust me, the parents remember the final score much longer than the kids do. What if the kids were 5 years old and the score was 300-0? Should they stop then? If you think yes, then you agree there is an age and a score where it should stop. We just have to come to an agreement on what that age/score combo is (If you think no, then so be it, at least you are 100% consistent)
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Post by spectator on Apr 12, 2018 7:38:47 GMT -5
Regarding the original question, it's impossible to narrow the worst parents down by club - jerk parents exist everywhere; jerk coaches exist everywhere - Rec, Academy, Select, RPL, ECNL, DA, high school and even college - yes I attended a college game where parents were screaming at the referee and acting like as big a jerks as they were in club/high school. Honestly I have to wonder at the motivation of the OP to post such a question - do you have a particular beef with a certain club or team?
I will say that collectively, the younger teams at 'high' levels seem to have the most intense and vocal parents - at least what I've witnessed I'll chalk that up to them being sucked in by the allure of the 'elite' team - and inexperience. Or maybe by the time your kid is high school, you realize that screaming at a referee or coaching from the sidelines is a)not helping and b)showing the world what a jerk you are - at least some parents realize that. Not all - as evidenced by the last high school game we had (newsflash - not every brush up on a player is a foul, not every breakaway is offside. Learn the game or stop shrieking!)
Regarding the comment about beating a team being 'classless' - no, classless is what's screaming on the sidelines when that is happening. It's a game - there are winners and losers (sorry, 'non' winners for those offended by the word 'lose') and sometimes the other team just has better players, better coaching or - if you're 'that' parent - the referee just wants that other team to win so much more than yours and they obviously have it out to get you personally! There will be mis-matched games. This is not exclusive to club or high school. Every fall in NCAA college football, there's some wicked blowout where a team pounds another one 60-3 or something like that. Should those players lighten up and not try? NO! That's when coaches put in the kids who never get to play, pull starters, let someone younger get the experience. Parents don't seem to get all wadded up about those games - so as Jash stated above, is there an age limit to when this becomes such a terrible classless thing?
I think this whole thing of parental bad behavior is directly related to this belief that youth sports should have a return on the investment. Parents, stop thinking with your wallets and just let your kids play the game! Oh, and be nicer on the sidelines - or suck a lollipop if you can't exercise enough self control to not scream at everyone and everything you find offensive or wrong with the game.
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Post by soccerlegacy on Apr 12, 2018 10:49:51 GMT -5
My vote is for any club that is up by a large number and has either of these two things happen: 1st - The coach of the team that's winning keeps the pressure on and continues to try and run up the score 2nd - The parents of the team winning keep hollering and hooting and calling out for their team to score more goals. I can't stand classlessness like that. There is one particular club that I have seen do this more than most, but that drives me nuts! You think beating a team by as many goals as you're capable of is classless? In Europe, they coach the academy players to play hard for every minute of the game. That means no letting up or throttling back so the score doesn't look so lopsided. I think this is one of the things wrong with American soccer culture; the "everyone gets a participation trophy" mentality. Soccer is a game, a competition. If you are that much better than another team then the score should reflect it. Otherwise, you aren't playing up to your full potential. I know some people disagree with this statement, but trust me, the parents remember the final score much longer than the kids do. Trust me, I am very much the opposite of the "everyone gets a participation trophy" mentality... and I'm talking when it is a truly lopsided game here. I guess here in the US some of us have a different sense of sportsmanship. It's about treating your opponent with some dignity while still having your kids gain something from it. Have the players try new positions, have them work on passing or shooting with the non-dominant foot, make them play it back before going forward, make them pass "x" number of times before the can score... all of these are ways for the player and the team to get something more out of a non-competitive game. You see it in every sport were a game has been decided well before the final whistle. In basketball, the subs will come in off the bench, in football a team will start running the ball on all downs, etc. Heck, in my daughters High School game, our goal keeper wound up playing striker, so what went from a 6-0 lead at half time only wound up being a 9-0 final, which would have been much worse had the coach not been respectful of the other teams inabilities. So, yes, I think it is classless to run up the score on a defenseless team. Beyond that though, is my second point, with the parents screaming to score yet another one... I know the teams my daughters play on all keep their mouths shut when we see that our team is clearly dominating a game. We'll quietly chat about it how we feel for the other team and try not to make as big of a deal when we score yet another one. Edit: I blew right past jash and spectator's responses, but wanted to say I agree with them that you do have to factor in age to some degree as well... but overall, just show some respect to the other team by having some humility. Since the actual topic is "Rank the Parents" ... so I'll keep it to my 2nd point...you really have no issue with parents of the other team screaming their heads off to score yet another goal when the score is something like 7 or 8 to nothing?
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Post by atv on Apr 12, 2018 12:12:56 GMT -5
One thing to consider, at least in conference or tournament play is there is often tie break considerations associated with the final score which affect final standings.
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Post by soccermonster on Apr 12, 2018 13:40:27 GMT -5
Regarding the original question, it's impossible to narrow the worst parents down by club - jerk parents exist everywhere; jerk coaches exist everywhere - Rec, Academy, Select, RPL, ECNL, DA, high school and even college - yes I attended a college game where parents were screaming at the referee and acting like as big a jerks as they were in club/high school. Honestly I have to wonder at the motivation of the OP to post such a question - do you have a particular beef with a certain club or team? I will say that collectively, the younger teams at 'high' levels seem to have the most intense and vocal parents - at least what I've witnessed I'll chalk that up to them being sucked in by the allure of the 'elite' team - and inexperience. Or maybe by the time your kid is high school, you realize that screaming at a referee or coaching from the sidelines is a)not helping and b)showing the world what a jerk you are - at least some parents realize that. Not all - as evidenced by the last high school game we had (newsflash - not every brush up on a player is a fowl, not every breakaway is offside. Learn the game or stop shrieking!) Regarding the comment about beating a team being 'classless' - no, classless is what's screaming on the sidelines when that is happening. It's a game - there are winners and losers (sorry, 'non' winners for those offended by the word 'lose') and sometimes the other team just has better players, better coaching or - if you're 'that' parent - the referee just wants that other team to win so much more than yours and they obviously have it out to get you personally! There will be mis-matched games. This is not exclusive to high school. Every fall in NCAA college football, there's some wicked blowout where a team pounds another one 60-3 or something like that. Should those players lighten up and not try? NO! That's when coaches put in the kids who never get to play, pull starters, let someone younger get the experience. Parents don't seem to get all wadded up about those games - so as Jash stated above, is there an age limit to when this becomes such a terrible classless thing? I think this whole thing of parental bad behavior is directly related to this belief that youth sports should have a return on the investment. Parents, stop thinking with your wallets and just let your kids play the game! Oh, and be nicer on the sidelines - or suck a lollipop if you can't exercise enough self control to not scream at everyone and everything you find offensive or wrong with the game. Best Comment from this thread "Suck a lollipop if you can't exercise enough self control to not scream at everyone and everything"
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Post by hejausa on Apr 12, 2018 14:10:28 GMT -5
A lot of these issues with parents would be alleviated if everyone observed what I think should be basic soccer parent etiquette— sit on the sideline across from your team’s bench. When everyone is mixed up together, there’s trouble.
Also, take the time to watch a match where you have “no skin in the game.” Occasionally I happen to be at a field where one of my sons is reffing, so I’ll stop and watch for a bit. Fortunately, my boys have thick skins, and I’m the type of parent who views the abuse they take from grownups as a life lesson.
When you do this, you will realize that most things soccer parents say on the sidelines sound pretty dumb, and you will keep your own mouth shut a lot more.
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Post by spectator on Apr 12, 2018 15:32:33 GMT -5
A lot of these issues with parents would be alleviated if everyone observed what I think should be basic soccer parent etiquette— sit on the sideline across from your team’s bench. When everyone is mixed up together, there’s trouble. Also, take the time to watch a match where you have “no skin in the game.” Occasionally I happen to be at a field where one of my sons is reffing, so I’ll stop and watch for a bit. Fortunately, my boys have thick skins, and I’m the type of parent who views the abuse they take from grownups as a life lesson. When you do this, you will realize that most things soccer parents say on the sidelines sound pretty dumb, and you will keep your own mouth shut a lot more. Oh AMEN to this - I became a better sideline parent when I was at games when my daughter was refereeing (before she could drive - oh and before she got so fed up with parents yelling at her that she quit). But yes - listen to parents at a game where your kid's team isn't playing - it shines a huge magnifying glass on behavior when you do have no dog in that hunt. I posted back after Disney that the parents of a U13 girls game there were three shades of crazy - screaming at their daughters, at the referees and each other. You'd have thought it was a world cub final not a bunch of 12 year old girls who probably got more excited when Minnie Mouse rode by on the golf cart than mommy or daddy were instructing them to' go to the ball' 'kick it' 'run' or 'shoot' from the sidelines.
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Post by dad on Apr 16, 2018 15:00:02 GMT -5
We just beat a UFA girls team that had a couple of horrible moms. One got hit hard on the noggin by a stray ball and we all laughed and celebrated for the soccer God justice.
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Post by oraclesfriend on Apr 16, 2018 18:33:02 GMT -5
At one of our games this weekend there was a foul called and none of us had any idea what the call was. No one saw anything. No one fell. No hand ball. At first we didn't even know if it was for or against us. Everyone was clueless. Then all of a sudden someone yells out "what the hell!" Ref got understandably upset and said "no more of that from you!" None of us knew who said it but definitely came from our side. Turned out it was the older sister of one of our players. LOL! She is like 15 or 16. I guess my point is that it isn't always the parents!
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Post by soccerdaddy on Apr 16, 2018 22:43:33 GMT -5
I love watching and listening to the video of our Home games. So embarrassing for certain parents. Not only do the Coaches review them but It’s easy to identify the parents who always complain play after play and they are usually the ones coaching from the sidelines.
On a positive note, I did find out one of the side line refs made $125 for 2 DA games Played back to back, U13 & U14. I think he was in High School or just graduated. If they paid more money for Academy and Select refs then we wouldn’t have refs quitting early on and just throwing in the towel. Unfortunately, I don’t think parents will ever SHUT UP; some coaches too!
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