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Post by surgesoccer on Mar 10, 2019 21:53:40 GMT -5
...the kids might actually listen to you Playing NASA today (formerly Concorde North) and all game long the parents have been coaching from the sideline as well as moaning and groaning about every call even though it was a home game for them. The play: One of our center backs decides to do a long pass over the top and kicks it. Our left striker (we're in a 3-5-2) is offsides and running full speed on the left wing. The ball lands in the center of the field with a defender really close to easily clean things up. But... the NASA parents start yelling offsides, and our striker (about 20 yards away) and the defender (about 4 yards away) both stop running. Our second striker, on-sides, continues running, collects the ball and goes in 1v1 against the goal keeper and scores to put us up 3-1 with about 10 minutes to go. I couldn't help myself and just looked at the parents and said do you know your constant coaching from the sidelines just cost your team a goal. Your defender literally just stopped on the play because all of you were telling him our player (who never went towards the ball) was offsides. Really ticked me off because the kid had to be embarrassed because he was paying more attention to the parents instead of the game. If parents would just let the coaches coach and the kids play things would be so much better.
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Post by mistergrinch on Mar 10, 2019 22:20:47 GMT -5
well.. if you want anecdotes, here's an antilogy.
Saw this recently in a game.. fairly high level and not particularly young kids.
Free kick - near the sideline pretty deep into the attacking third, tough angle. Kid taking the kick turns to a parent 'should I shoot?'. Parent says 'no, hard angle.. high at the 6'. Kid puts it there, tap in for a goal.
So it can work, too.
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on Mar 11, 2019 6:50:54 GMT -5
surgesoccer - This is something Team Managers need to police along with the actual Coach. I know some coaches who will flat out stop the game and walk over to the parents side and have a discussion with their parents. mistergrinch - I too have seen that work, however what happens to the kid when mom/dad aren't on the sidelines for whatever reason. All in all, I see the innate paternal need to want to "help" our kids. However, I caution us as parents to think of soccer much like we would regular academic school. I have a good friend who always says, I don't see parents camping outside their kids classroom/school and yelling, "hey Junior, remember 2 x 2 is 4" or "don't forget to use punctuation in your paper" As mom & dad, we made the conscious decision years ago to not engage our kids on the field unless they weren't giving effort. Now that we will never stand for...FG
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Post by GameOfThrow-ins on Mar 11, 2019 8:23:03 GMT -5
FG, that would be something actually funny as an SNL skit! “Show your work!” “Pay attention!” “Don’t let that kid cut in line!” “Check your shoulder for that bully!” “Hey! Hey! That kid is cheating!” “This substitute teacher is just sitting at the desk!” “How did that teacher get hired?!” “That’s just blatant gender bias!”
So many possible lines. I haven’t checked but if this hasn’t already been done on SNL there is surely a YouTube video out there. Maybe “Southern Soccer Mom” has done it.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Mar 11, 2019 8:59:53 GMT -5
That’s the beauty of high school soccer and games played in stadiums - that separate parents from 2 yards next to the sidelines - your there as a spectator and a fan vs a parent.
Solution - every youth soccer pitch needs to be converted to a stadium! Done.
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Post by soccerdad76 on Mar 11, 2019 12:37:27 GMT -5
That’s the beauty of high school soccer and games played in stadiums - that separate parents from 2 yards next to the sidelines - your there as a spectator and a fan vs a parent. Solution - every youth soccer pitch needs to be converted to a stadium! Done. they should at least paint a line 5 yards off to give the kids some room. I love the few fields that have a “parent box”
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Post by surgesoccer on Mar 11, 2019 12:37:48 GMT -5
My son's first year of Academy when he was u9 I was pretty bad. At the end of the year I asked him if he thought I said too much on the sideline and he said yes. I asked him if he would like me to just shut up and he also said yes. Since then I've worked on being quiet on the sidelines. Now as a team manager for the past couple of seasons, the first email I send out to parents is to remind them that we have a coach we are paying to coach our kids. I also remind them that if the ref makes a bad call the coach is the person responsible for disagreeing with calls.
The parents have done a great job the last couple of years and I rarely have to say anything, they just quietly watch the game. If someone does get loud though I immediately stop them by reminding them that, that is not how our team operates.
Coaches and Team Managers could quiet parent's if they simply take the time to address the issue at the beginning of the year and each time it happens.
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Post by surgesoccer on Mar 11, 2019 12:39:22 GMT -5
In our game Sunday there was also someone's mother who obviously was not happy with how the ref called fouls and started screaming to their players that they should "kick, shove, whatever it takes to get the job done".
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Post by oraclesfriend on Mar 11, 2019 13:27:09 GMT -5
surgesoccer - This is something Team Managers need to police along with the actual Coach. I know some coaches who will flat out stop the game and walk over to the parents side and have a discussion with their parents. mistergrinch - I too have seen that work, however what happens to the kid when mom/dad aren't on the sidelines for whatever reason. All in all, I see the innate paternal need to want to "help" our kids. However, I caution us as parents to think of soccer much like we would regular academic school. I have a good friend who always says, I don't see parents camping outside their kids classroom/school and yelling, "hey Junior, remember 2 x 2 is 4" or "don't forget to use punctuation in your paper" As mom & dad, we made the conscious decision years ago to not engage our kids on the field unless they weren't giving effort. Now that we will never stand for...FG Some coaches are just too nice. We had a parent get very out of hand at one of our kids' games this weekend. I was distracted at the time by one of our moms asking questions about stuff upcoming. This parent who was out of hand was yelling at his daughter to send the ball to the other side of the field from where the coach was telling her to go. He was instructing his daughter on every move he wanted her to make. He was also engaging the parents from the other team with comparisons of our team's make up that game (not all top teamers) with their team (all presumably top teamers). It was distasteful. After the match was over the coach told this parent that his instructions were confusing to the kids. They are very young and have a hard enough time concentrating on the match and the coach's instructions and he told the parent that his instructions were causing further disorganization. The parent apologized and stated the he knew he got out of hand. Unfortunately I expect the parent to try to control himself but I know there will be further lapses despite his attempts. I do agree with FG that I will engage my kids on the field if they are not giving enough effort. I will also remind them to focus if I see that they have gotten distracted. I will sometimes remind the younger one what the set play is ("it's a corner, where do you need to be?"). I do not tell them where to go, I just remind them that they need to pay attention. I find that the younger one spaces out when the ball goes off the field, particularly if it goes far away and takes someone a while to fetch it. I understand the school analogy, but I think of practices like classroom work. I do not get involved. Games are like homework...a reminder to focus and put in effort is not a problem in my opinion. Telling them what to do is. If they ask a question I might answer it. Tryouts are exams...I don't get involved once they are on the field but I try to make sure they have prepared themselves for it ahead of time. I do think that not getting involved in telling them what to do in matches is the hardest thing about being a soccer parent. I have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut. It has gotten easier with the older one as the level of play improves. It is super hard with the younger one who is still learning the basics of positioning. I am not a patient person by nature. I was no better when they were learning to read. It is just how I am. It takes a lot of energy to shut up and just watch. Having watched one child from a stadium many times before I don't think the separation from the field helps me. I just yell louder if I have something that I cannot stop myself from saying...
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Post by soccernoleuk on Mar 11, 2019 13:30:59 GMT -5
As a parent I don't like it when parents try to coach their kids from the sideline. While parents think they know what they are talking about, and might even be technically correct, it might not even be what the coach wants the player to do. Parents need to keep in mind, especially at the Academy level, coaches might not even be coaching to win. Their main objective should be to develop the player win or lose
One of the biggest things I see/hear is parents directly contradicting the coach, or trying to coach their kids at the same time as the coach. When that happens, who do you think the kid is going to listen to?
I also like the fields that have the line or box indicating where the parents should be on the sideline. IMO GA Soccer should mandate that at all fields. We played a tournament in the fall where the other team parents were literally standing on the touch line. The refs were all teenagers and despite asking the parents to back up, they didn't. It was dangerous for spectators & players, yet nothing was officially done about it.
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Post by rifle on Mar 11, 2019 16:38:34 GMT -5
Hand the loudmouth parent a sucker and tell them to let the coach do the coaching. It’s passive aggressive but humorous.
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on Mar 11, 2019 20:06:26 GMT -5
I do think that not getting involved in telling them what to do in matches is the hardest thing about being a soccer parent. Believe you me, it is truly hard. I don't know any parent who doesn't want to engage and give their kids instructions, encouragement or even advice. It is something that builds over time. Think about it, when they start out at 3/4/5/6 years old and they are driving and dribbling the ball the other way, the parents collectively and constantly have to remind them to reverse and go the right way, etc. We as parents are encouraged to cheer and give them feedback at that age. It's just a habit we continue into their teenage, Academy and Select years. In our household, one of the ways we learned to keep quiet was by chewing lots of gum and nicely reminding each other that hey, remember the no coaching rule. Saying something like, "Ummm Honey(insert eye roll)" is much better than telling your husband or wife(never) to keep quiet...FG 🤪⚽🤪
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on Mar 11, 2019 20:10:16 GMT -5
I also like the fields that have the line or box indicating where the parents should be on the sideline. IMO GA Soccer should mandate that at all fields. We played a tournament in the fall where the other team parents were literally standing on the touch line. The refs were all teenagers and despite asking the parents to back up, they didn't. It was dangerous for spectators & players, yet nothing was officially done about it. While we're on GA Soccer about this, let's also add that Parents from either teams should be on their respective sides on the sideline. I truly can't stand it when parents rove the entire sideline. It has lead to words being exchanged and almost come to fisticuffs at times. I believe the unofficial/official rule is you park your chair on the same side as your team's bench.
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Post by rocko1989 on Mar 11, 2019 20:57:22 GMT -5
I also like the fields that have the line or box indicating where the parents should be on the sideline. IMO GA Soccer should mandate that at all fields. We played a tournament in the fall where the other team parents were literally standing on the touch line. The refs were all teenagers and despite asking the parents to back up, they didn't. It was dangerous for spectators & players, yet nothing was officially done about it. While we're on GA Soccer about this, let's also add that Parents from either teams should be on their respective sides on the sideline. I truly can't stand it when parents rove the entire sideline. It has lead to words being exchanged and almost come to fisticuffs at times. I believe the unofficial/official rule is you park your chair on the same side as your team's bench. We moved from another state where it is mandated that you sit across from your team. We have tried to encourage our teams to do that here in Georgia. In my opinion, this should be a GYSA rule.
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Post by surgesoccer on Mar 11, 2019 21:01:00 GMT -5
FG I fail that one. I like to be on the offensive side... only bad things happen on the defensive side (giving up goals). So I always switch where I'm standing at the half..
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Post by oraclesfriend on Mar 11, 2019 21:08:39 GMT -5
We have a team videographer who always films from the offensive side. The filming keeps him busy though so he doesn't engage with the opposing team very often.
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Post by soccernoleuk on Mar 11, 2019 21:10:40 GMT -5
I must admit I am one of those parents that roams from end to end. I do my best to go past all the other parents so I am not in the middle of everyone. If I can't get to the end then I stay on my own end. When I am on the opponent end I am very conscious of it and typically don't do anything other than encourage my child. From time to time I will also encourage and make positive comments to the opposing team, such as "great job keeper", or "nice play #".
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Post by rifle on Mar 12, 2019 6:17:40 GMT -5
I don’t care where people watch (from). I particularly don’t like sitting or standing where the AR roams.
Good rule for life: Just don’t be a d***.
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Post by mistergrinch on Mar 12, 2019 8:54:52 GMT -5
In our game Sunday there was also someone's mother who obviously was not happy with how the ref called fouls and started screaming to their players that they should "kick, shove, whatever it takes to get the job done". I saw an Athena C game where the parents were openly calling for their kids to injure the better players on the other team. Messed up.
Most of the time, I've had pretty pleasant interactions with opposing parents.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Mar 13, 2019 13:21:18 GMT -5
Tom Byer is an interesting "player" in the coaching world and an advocate for the importance of parents playing the largest role influencing their children with sports (soccer).
Great tweet -
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