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Post by lovelyafternoon on May 21, 2015 22:15:27 GMT -5
Hi! I have really learned a lot from you guys here--the amount of knowledge, experience and goodwill is truly impressive! So after a couple of years of lurking I finally registered with the forum to ask you this: what advice can you give regarding u13 tryouts? We've been at the same club all of Academy, and had no intentions of leaving until recently. Now I'm scrambling to learn as much as I can about the various clubs, reputations, coaches, scheduling, etiquette with both the new club and the old club, etc.! I just want to find the best fit for my kid and it's proving to be very overwhelming!!
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Post by Strikermom on May 21, 2015 22:21:56 GMT -5
Why not stay??? We stayed at our club not because of coaching necessarily but friendships, proximity and comfort level.
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Post by lovelyafternoon on May 21, 2015 22:42:54 GMT -5
Unfortunately, over past year, we've seen a lot that we don't like...for a few reasons: 1) concerned that perhaps our club's "style" and our kid's "style" aren't a great match. 2) there's a negative attitude that seems to hang over the age group (maybe others too) Too many rude, competitive parents rude, rough players...we've come to realize the attitude trickles down directly from the top... 3) felt like our kid (and many others) were just sort of disregarded...very little individual attention...The club just doesn't seem interested or invested in many of the kids .
That being said, we're conflicted because we know some GREAT coaches there (unfortunately none are coaching u13 next yr) and it is by far the most convenient! Plus, I know all clubs have pros and cons, so I'm struggling to get a feel for each club and determine if it might be a good fit. I'd hate to leave only to encounter the same issues everywhere else.
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Post by zizou on May 21, 2015 23:36:57 GMT -5
There are a few factors to consider. But first, could I ask boy/girl?
Regardless of answer, there are four things I would consider: 1. If your player is honestly a good player, and has aspirations of playing at high level, then you need to find them the best team they can make where the player (and parents of course) feel comfortable. Comfort with other players, coach, club environment, club curriculum etc. U13 is an important year for many reasons. 2. If your player has been playing competitive academy soccer for years, then you must have seen many teams from many clubs play and have some feel for coaches and styles of play you admire. 3. If it is possible to move to another club with a friend or two that will make the transition easier. 4. All else being equal, I would pick the shortest commute.
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Post by SoccerMom on May 22, 2015 6:46:47 GMT -5
Unfortunately, over past year, we've seen a lot that we don't like...for a few reasons: 1) concerned that perhaps our club's "style" and our kid's "style" aren't a great match. 2) there's a negative attitude that seems to hang over the age group (maybe others too) Too many rude, competitive parents rude, rough players...we've come to realize the attitude trickles down directly from the top... 3) felt like our kid (and many others) were just sort of disregarded...very little individual attention...The club just doesn't seem interested or invested in many of the kids . That being said, we're conflicted because we know some GREAT coaches there (unfortunately none are coaching u13 next yr) and it is by far the most convenient! Plus, I know all clubs have pros and cons, so I'm struggling to get a feel for each club and determine if it might be a good fit. I'd hate to leave only to encounter the same issues everywhere else. Boy or girl? You have to find whats best for your kid, otherwise he or she may not grow as a player. Theres many clubs to choose from and theres going to be perfect fit for your kid at one of them. As the coaching lists are put out there you can ask questions here about certain coaches that interest you. I understand your frustration with the coaching situation, sometimes the club is fine but the particular coach you get is not, I will not tell you to suck it up because your kid needs to enjoy playing and cant do that in a bad environment. Are you looking for a big club or a small one? Im sure you have an idea of clubs you would like to go to...like i said, ask away :-)
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Post by stevieg on May 22, 2015 7:44:57 GMT -5
Let me give you perspective from someone who faced the same issues last year.
My daughter was at a large club for 5 years, all through academy. We found out who the coaches were going to be for the U13 teams and she had played for the 2nd and 3rd team coaches before and not enjoyed it and/or knew that she wouldn't get selected for the top team based on who the coach was. So, we started looking around before tryouts. We narrowed down our choice based on geography and competitiveness. We went to pre-tryout camps at two different clubs and tried out at both. She had her choice and went with the club that was further away, but she felt was a better fit based on the coach and playing time opportunity.
It was a disaster. Although she played every minute of every match in the fall, she was ready to quit soccer based on the treatment by the coach, some of the players and the parents. We called the other club we had tried out at and they found a spot for her on the second team for Spring. It was either that or give up the sport all together. Now she has some confidence back and is ready to push ahead at U14 and try and regain that top spot again.
With all things being equal, I would pick the closer club, only because that added drive becomes even worse when your kid is not enjoying the team/club. You can always reboot and try somewhere else if it doesn't work out.
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Post by Soccerhouse on May 22, 2015 8:26:06 GMT -5
you have to be extremely honest with your self and and your kid and make sure the kid is happy with what ever the decision is. an unhappy kid as stevieg says makes an unhappy player. we all want whats best for our kids, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. that being said, we left a club early in the academy process and it was the best decision we as a family have ever made. I have no aspirations of my children becoming world class futbal players, they are all quality players and love to play the game. I'd rather my kids love the game and want to play, vs hate the game and quit to early in life. I will also say, sometimes its very tough with certain coaches, and it might take a year after that coach has left to really appreciate the positive impact a coach made on a child/team. I hear it so often, a family/team hates a coach, the next year rolls around, they get assigned a new coach, and they all want the old coach they hated back! just be cautious not to burn bridges and you never know where that coach might land..... coaches are changing clubs very often!
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Post by lovelyafternoon on May 22, 2015 16:03:52 GMT -5
There are a few factors to consider. But first, could I ask boy/girl? Regardless of answer, there are four things I would consider: 1. If your player is honestly a good player, and has aspirations of playing at high level, then you need to find them the best team they can make where the player (and parents of course) feel comfortable. Comfort with other players, coach, club environment, club curriculum etc. U13 is an important year for many reasons. 2. If your player has been playing competitive academy soccer for years, then you must have seen many teams from many clubs play and have some feel for coaches and styles of play you admire. 3. If it is possible to move to another club with a friend or two that will make the transition easier. 4. All else being equal, I would pick the shortest commute. 1. She is a very good player. Not the best, not the most aggressive, but a solid, consistent player. She LOVES the game and would play nearly everyday if she could. BUT she still wants it to be fun and positive (not silly, she's a very hard worker, but she's not cut-throat) Some of those specifics you mentioned are what I am trying to figure out now: can you all share your impressions of the club environment and club curriculum of NASA, Tophat, Concorde, Roswell (and any NW club I'm leaving out) but those are the primary ones we've been considering. 2. This a very good point. I'm realizing now that I should've paid better attention to some of those things!! I have been impressed with the Tophat teams--they seem to rely on skills and footwork rather than physical aggression. And their parents seem well-behaved. But I heard some very harsh coaching at a very young age... 3. Many of her soccer friends are looking at moving, so we're hopeful we'd end up with at least one or two. 4. Commute is a huge concern!!
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Post by lovelyafternoon on May 22, 2015 16:17:06 GMT -5
Stevieg,
Your post is exactly what I am afraid of!! I am trying to stay away from a "grass is always greener" mentality and honestly attempt to find the best fit, but there are so many unknowns.
Hope things continue to improve for your daughter.
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Post by lovelyafternoon on May 22, 2015 16:52:32 GMT -5
Boy or girl? You have to find whats best for your kid, otherwise he or she may not grow as a player. Theres many clubs to choose from and theres going to be perfect fit for your kid at one of them. As the coaching lists are put out there you can ask questions here about certain coaches that interest you. I understand your frustration with the coaching situation, sometimes the club is fine but the particular coach you get is not, I will not tell you to suck it up because your kid needs to enjoy playing and cant do that in a bad environment. Are you looking for a big club or a small one? Im sure you have an idea of clubs you would like to go to...like i said, ask away :-) No preference for club size. Perhaps it's a bit of a unicorn, but here's what I'd love for my daughter: A group of girls who are skilled, hard-working athletes, but are also nice, good kids (not "mean girls" or cliquey) A group of parents that are supportive of their daughter and her teammates, and well-behaved Parents that typically refrain from inappropriate outbursts, screaming at refs, making their daughters cry in the parking lot... A coach that works hard, teaches them skills and strategies, but is mostly positive and encouraging rather than threatening and belittling. I shudder when I hear coaches yell "what was that BettyJo?! Do you even know how to play soccer?!" I want a coach for whom the players want to improve and do their best because they respect and don't want to disappoint him/her rather than out of fear of being belittled or punished. ...and I'd like to find all that within 20min of my house Confidence is a huge factor with her: she's the type of kid who plays way better when she's one of the best players on the team. She struggles when she doesn't feel confident (whereas that drives some kids to do better) Ultimately, you're exactly right: she wants to enjoy playing.
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