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Post by Anonymous on Oct 22, 2013 11:33:46 GMT -5
Any suggestions to control the worst of the behavior?
Perhaps if a parent is particularly unruly the referee should be able to give the player a yellow or red.
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Post by jash on Oct 22, 2013 11:57:13 GMT -5
I will say from my point of view that the options available now are probably good enough. If a referee feels a parent or parents are out of control, he or she can ask the coach to make it stop, or they can send the parent off.
I know referees take a lot of abuse, and I've seen it firsthand. I have on occasion made my disagreement vocal. But I believe there are lines that define the difference between acceptable and unacceptable. And I fully recognize that for different people the lines are different.
For me, an occasional "Noooo" or similar is just part of the game. I believe the line is crossed when the parents start saying things like "idiot" (or any other namecalling) or even things like "are you blind?" Obviously any implication that the ref has been paid off or is cheating is wrong. Really anything other than just a general (and short and fairly good-natured) expression of disagreement -- anything other than that is over the line.
We've had refs who listen to spoken (not yelled, and not loud) discussions between parents and take things personally/argue back. I understand that refs take so much abuse they might be hypersensitive, but some handle it far better than others.
As to a player taking a card for parent behavior, I would not like to see that at all. The player has no control over the situation, and should not be punished for it.
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Post by bpgbeieio on Oct 22, 2013 11:57:40 GMT -5
After warning the coach twice, allow the ref to remove a player (ideally the best) on the offending team from the pitch for a five minute hockey style (play a man down) penalty.
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Post by jash on Oct 22, 2013 12:00:43 GMT -5
What is to stop smart parents from cheering loudly and obnoxiously for their opponent?
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Post by bpgbeieio on Oct 22, 2013 12:30:42 GMT -5
Jash, the fact that they are smart parents. And the coach can deny owning them.
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Post by jash on Oct 22, 2013 14:00:39 GMT -5
A smart coach would probably deny owning any parents out there  |
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Post by TheMadOx on Oct 22, 2013 15:30:54 GMT -5
I personally think it starts with the club/staff of the club to educate parents. Most parents didn't play and don't understand the etiquette of the game. Personally, I set my expectations of parent, player and coach behavior before the season starts and send out constant reminders.
It's super sad to observe parents, players or coaches verbally abuse referees (especially our younger refs)...They make mistakes just as us coaches, players and parents.
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Post by dreaddy on Oct 22, 2013 15:54:15 GMT -5
... or they can send the parent off. Actually, the referee can't send the parent off. The referee can ask the coach, field marshal or any other authority figure at the complex to have the parent/spectator removed but the referee himself cannot send the a spectator off. Even though it may have the same effect, it is a technicality that most people (and some referees) don't realize. If the coaches (and note - I say coaches, as in from both teams) can't get the spectator removed then the referee's only other course of action is to suspend or terminate the game. The state D&P will have to figure out fault to see what happens to the game and the spectator. Again, that's not the referee's jurisdiction either. |
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Post by actualparent on Oct 22, 2013 18:11:11 GMT -5
Yes, submit actual details - the place, the time, the club, a description of the activity, and a photo or video if possible to the psycho parent of the week thread. I do this for fun, but it has a higher purpose.
I see so much potential - an overall club champion, a best actor, a best fight, a best arrest, etc. - in outing these fools.
You can help, with your input, we can turn this basic wisecrack (psycho parent of the week) into a grass roots disciplinary tool.
Thanks.
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Post by spectator on Oct 22, 2013 19:59:02 GMT -5
Any suggestions to control the worst of the behavior? Perhaps if a parent is particularly unruly the referee should be able to give the player a yellow or red. A roll of duct tape and a cattle prod would tame the most unruly parent. But video and public shaming are probably the better way to go |
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Post by reinalocura on Oct 22, 2013 21:33:29 GMT -5
Thank you Spectator. I didn't want to be the only one with a not completely serious answer - but all I could think of was valium. ;-)
Maybe let the parents play and let the kids provide the color commentary / side-line coaching...
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Post by spectator on Oct 23, 2013 11:23:09 GMT -5
Jumping off this topic - the way we as parents behave colors how our kids behave. I don't know how it is in the schools where all of you are, but here in my area, online bullying is rampant and scary. Kids are being told to kill themselves on social media sites and that is being attributed to a 12 year old Florida girl's suicide recently. Even scarier - how clueless the parents are to this happening by or to their own kids.
Just make sure you know where your kids are online - and monitor it. I cannot stress this enough - it's not on the family computer - monitor their smart phone use as well!
So while we talk (or jest as I did) about calling out parental behavior, it does need to be addressed because their kids may be the ones continuing that cycle with their peers online. Maybe if you get the opportunity to speak with a psycho parent face to face, reminding them of the 'little eyes' watching them, just might get them to wake up and stop the pattern!
One can hope.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Oct 23, 2013 11:40:56 GMT -5
i think coaches are the key folks to step in a create an acceptable standard.
its important that parents at u9 are told how and not to act.
however, i've seen coaches that seem to only care about parent behavior and forget to coach.
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Post by soccerenthusiast on Oct 25, 2013 7:35:46 GMT -5
Any suggestions to control the worst of the behavior? Perhaps if a parent is particularly unruly the referee should be able to give the player a yellow or red. A roll of duct tape and a cattle prod would tame the most unruly parent. But video and public shaming are probably the better way to go I always thought duct tape was a good idea and when I was a coach and then a team parent, I used to jokingly threaten my parents that I would use it |
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Post by daisy on Oct 26, 2013 18:47:25 GMT -5
Today, I saw parents kicked off the sideline at two separate games. The refs were not putting up with any smack talk. They stopped the games until the parent left the field. In all fairness, these refs did a great job calling the games. Usually, we are not so lucky when we are on the road. Who am I kidding? Even when we are home we are not always that lucky to have engaged, knowledgeable refs.
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Post by bpgbeieio on Oct 29, 2013 7:04:21 GMT -5
Just a thought, instead of directing the coach to remove the offending parent, why not direct the coach to remove all the parents? Peer pressure is a strong tool and, with one warning, a message could be delivered.
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Post by silverback on Oct 29, 2013 7:27:00 GMT -5
Just a thought, instead of directing the coach to remove the offending parent, why not direct the coach to remove all the parents? Peer pressure is a strong tool and, with one warning, a message could be delivered. That is what happened to us a few years ago, but the ref kicked all parents off the field. Two top teams were playing each other so there definitely was some "competitive spirit" going into the game. Our team was playing very well and the other parents were getting frustrated, yelling at the refs, our players, etc. The ref ended up kicking all of us off the field behind a fence. Our parents were not happy because we were pretty much sitting nicely, not yelling a lot because we were winning, but in the end, it worked. IMO- Not a bad idea when things are out of control or moving in that direction.. |
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