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Post by soccerfan30 on Feb 5, 2017 13:59:38 GMT -5
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Post by jash on Feb 5, 2017 16:45:10 GMT -5
Except in the most egregious cases I side with the referee. I couldn't quite hear what the man was saying that got the referee so upset, so I'm not going to judge her response. It might have been perfectly appropriate or even totally reasonable. At the very least she certainly had the right to tell the man to button up, and he should have behaved like a grown up and done so.
But I think she should have gone to the coaches and told them to talk to the parents. In my experience, except for the most mature and commanding adult referees, when referees talk to parents it rarely goes well. Not that she didn't have the right to, but that she would have probably gotten a better result working things through the coaches. After all, the coaches usually agree with the refs that the parents should shut up, and probably relish the chance to reprimand the parents "on behalf of the referee."
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Post by SoccerMom on Feb 6, 2017 8:34:49 GMT -5
Except in the most egregious cases I side with the referee. I couldn't quite hear what the man was saying that got the referee so upset, so I'm not going to judge her response. It might have been perfectly appropriate or even totally reasonable. At the very least she certainly had the right to tell the man to button up, and he should have behaved like a grown up and done so. But I think she should have gone to the coaches and told them to talk to the parents. In my experience, except for the most mature and commanding adult referees, when referees talk to parents it rarely goes well. Not that she didn't have the right to, but that she would have probably gotten a better result working things through the coaches. After all, the coaches usually agree with the refs that the parents should shut up, and probably relish the chance to reprimand the parents "on behalf of the referee." Depends on the club...i know of a local one, who i wont mention, that I have seen refs ask them to please speak to their parents and the coach response was "what do you want me to do about it?" Unfortunately some parents don't know how to behave, if parents on my kids team say something to refs, I am the first one to tell them to stop. I have also been venue manager in many tournaments and there hasn't been one yet where i haven't kicked parents out for insulting refs, they usually turn their anger towards me but thats ok, I rather me than a kid. I have also had to kick every parent of both teams out because of how they were acting and the ref was very upset and didnt want to continue the game, i think he might have been 12 at the time
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Post by jash on Feb 6, 2017 11:32:38 GMT -5
Depends on the club...i know of a local one, who i wont mention, that I have seen refs ask them to please speak to their parents and the coach response was "what do you want me to do about it?" Ah, but to me this is where referees do have power. The answer is "tell your parents to show some dignity and respect and stop harassing me, or the game will be over and there will be reports to GA Soccer about you as well for failing to help" Getting the coaches (and then the clubs, and then GA Soccer) involved will help make a change. Throwing out one parent might help, but obviously didn't in this case, as the parent was being combative and belligerent even as he "complied" with the order to leave, while other parents sympathized with him. In my years of experience, anytime a coach has had to say a single word to the parents because the parents were misbehaving and the referee talked to the coach about it, it worked extremely well. If the coach refuses (certainly quite possible) then the referee is well within his or her rights to threaten and follow through with abandoning the game. I doubt if any coach would refuse after the threat of calling the game, but if they do, that's a serious risk they are taking.
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Post by spectator on Feb 6, 2017 12:56:52 GMT -5
Uncalled for regardless. The parent was telling the referee what a handball was - incorrectly - she explained and went on with the game - sounded like the parent kept griping loudly enough and passive aggressively so the referee heard him. Yes - she probably could have gone to the coach - this video doesn't show if she did or didn't. But regardless, that dad was disrespectful and at the end of the video was mocking and harassing the referee calling her girl and making fun or her and taunting her that she sounded like she was going to cry. That's ridiculous and childish. That dad probably has more way more issues than a referee missing a handball at his kid's game (#sarcasm)
Truth is - he was being a straight up jerk - at a nine year old's game? The young referee did the best she could from what I could see on the video. Again you don't see if she asked the coach to deal with it or just addressed the parent the first time and thought that was enough. By the time you see the second interaction, you can tell it's gone on long enough to be disruptive to the game and disrespectful to the referee.
Several things about this video bother me other than the jerk dad - the fact the rest of the parents did nothing to get him to shut up and some even sympathized with him. Parents have a responsibility to keep the worst among us from being jerks - probably even more so than a coach doing it. I have also seen clubs (more than one) where when a ref asks a coach to step in, the coach does nothing. But I have no problem telling a fellow parent on my kid's team - even if that parent is a personal friend - to zip it if he or she starts mouthing off too much at a referee. It does no good for any party involved to start that kind of exchange. Our coach has been asked to come over exactly one time in the years we've been with this team - whether that's because the referees aren't asking or our parents weren't that obnoxious remains to be seen. But my point - start on the sidelines where the problem is happening - tell your parents to stop (yours not the other team's - that gets too heated). If everyone did this, we'd all have a much more civil sideline.
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