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Post by watchme25 on Jun 10, 2019 0:36:23 GMT -5
The comments about parents going about club soccer as selfish, entitled, and playing politics is true. But what's really concerning is not only when parents start to manipulate tryouts and affect decisions behind the scenes, but when coaches and clubs actually go along with it and believe one or two parents that tear apart other kids, families and coaches--those parents that are Smiling to their fellow parents in person, but digging daggers when talking to a coach and no one is observing. It's disgusting. Other message board topics have talked about how NTH doesn't allow much coach and parent interaction. I applaud them for this decision. I'm sure there's politics there too, but keeping distance from parents especially during the two to three months leading up to tryouts is smart for all clubs. This year there was repulsive behavior by a coach and families at Concorde C where kids got placed on teams lower than their skillset because of parent and coach manipulation. Grow up parents and coaches! If you expect respect by your players then be mature enough to block out the parent noise and evaluate these kids fairly who are killing themselves for four straight days to prove their skills and abilities! If those parents, that coach, and club administrators can feel good about themselves after this tryout season then there is seriously something wrong with this club I’d say I’m surprised but I’m not. I’ve personally witnessed coaches at a big 5 club carry on personal friendships (dinners out, social events, active personal texting) with certain parents and would also go out drinking with certain groups parents from their own team on multiple occasions. And these were high level TOP team coaches at the big clubs. I’ve heard crazy stories from parents bragging of drunken nights with their kid’s coach at hotel bars for out of state tournaments. In all instances... Guess which kids got all the playing time? lol. Some clubs are an absolute integrity desert, while others do keep that distance and professionalism among all the parents. I’ve noticed that Entitled parents tend to flock to the clubs that allow that manipulative behavior. It tends not to be an isolated incident, but rather a theme to a pattern of behavior throughout the club. I’m sure there is a whole world of affluent influencers within the clubs that we are not privy to. The stuff we’ve seen is probably just the tiny amount that spilled over. This is what it means to work within a pay to play system. |
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Post by soccerworld1974 on Jun 11, 2019 9:45:13 GMT -5
Circling back to the original posters message, yeah I agree and this lingering trying to hold on to players until the last day to let them know what the true plan is can be very disappointing. there are ways obviously to try to circumvent that but it also goes both ways with many players towards the clubs and the coaches which might ultimately be the reason why some choose to go in this direction. I'll give an example, in my youngest son's tryouts we had a player who showed up from another club on the first day. At the beginning of the second day he was pushed to the second group which is still a very good team but not the team that I guess the player wanted to be on. He ultimately disappeared for the rest of tryouts which assumingly is because he went to other tryouts due to the fact that he did not get the level of Team he was looking for here but then is emailing a few days laterasking why his son didn't get put on that particular team. And I'm not speaking about the talk to you on talking about the team that he was placed on day two.
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Post by rifle on Jun 11, 2019 20:58:55 GMT -5
Solution: hold tryouts for the highest level teams first. Hold subsequent tryouts for lower level teams.. until all spots are filled.
Problem with this solution: this requires a consensus about which level is actually highest... good luck with that in club soccer in 2019.
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Post by soccerlegacy on Jun 11, 2019 21:24:26 GMT -5
Solution: hold tryouts for the highest level teams first. Hold subsequent tryouts for lower level teams.. until all spots are filled. Problem with this solution: this requires a consensus about which level is actually highest... good luck with that in club soccer in 2019. Most coaches already know by the second day day... heck usually the first day. So 4 days of tryouts would probably still get the job done. |
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Post by sailingaway on Jun 11, 2019 23:28:38 GMT -5
I’ll tell you what I’ve had it with. Level “A” team falls apart at a club on day 3 of tryouts. This has happened several times this past week. Name your club. Anyhoo, parents and players panic and split up into small groups or go it alone (every man for himself mentality). They are offered positions on teams at other clubs, but at Level “B”. So they decline (or don’t even bother to answer) and keep level chasing and showing up to supplementals because GOD FORBID they play a level below the one they played last season.
Here you have clubs with integrity willing to help players get on a team without disrupting the higher level teams they have already rostered and parents/players unwilling to swallow their pride and just get on the field.
The level chasing is exhausting. I just don’t know how they do it. When you are ready to put your player on a team solely based on level and don’t know the coach, what number your kid is on that roster, the other players, or even the location you will be playing at ... something is broken.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2019 6:34:42 GMT -5
I’ll tell you what I’ve had it with. Level “A” team falls apart at a club on day 3 of tryouts. This has happened several times this past week. Name your club. Anyhoo, parents and players panic and split up into small groups or go it alone (every man for himself mentality). They are offered positions on teams at other clubs, but at Level “B”. So they decline (or don’t even bother to answer) and keep level chasing and showing up to supplementals because GOD FORBID they play a level below the one they played last season. Here you have clubs with integrity willing to help players get on a team without disrupting the higher level teams they have already rostered and parents/players unwilling to swallow their pride and just get on the field. The level chasing is exhausting. I just don’t know how they do it. When you are ready to put your player on a team solely based on level and don’t know the coach, what number your kid is on that roster, the other players, or even the location you will be playing at ... something is broken. I could not agree more! This is spot on. Our family friend has an 03 team that has fallen apart and the Mom is the one who continues to say things like ...."Well, we don't want to stay because we don't want her to be the best on the team, she needs to be challenged" . "Oh we don't want to play there, that's too far." or "But that's not an "A" team...... Seriously - If the kid wants to play, let them play but now they have got so much anxiety based on what level the kids is playing. It's a complete Joke but Sadly, not funny. Great post! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2019 7:55:37 GMT -5
I’ll tell you what I’ve had it with. Level “A” team falls apart at a club on day 3 of tryouts. This has happened several times this past week. Name your club. Anyhoo, parents and players panic and split up into small groups or go it alone (every man for himself mentality). They are offered positions on teams at other clubs, but at Level “B”. So they decline (or don’t even bother to answer) and keep level chasing and showing up to supplementals because GOD FORBID they play a level below the one they played last season. Here you have clubs with integrity willing to help players get on a team without disrupting the higher level teams they have already rostered and parents/players unwilling to swallow their pride and just get on the field. The level chasing is exhausting. I just don’t know how they do it. When you are ready to put your player on a team solely based on level and don’t know the coach, what number your kid is on that roster, the other players, or even the location you will be playing at ... something is broken. I could not agree more! This is spot on. Our family friend has an 03 team that has fallen apart and the Mom is the one who continues to say things like ...."Well, we don't want to stay because we don't want her to be the best on the team, she needs to be challenged" . "Oh we don't want to play there, that's too far." or "But that's not an "A" team...... Seriously - If the kid wants to play, let them play but now they have got so much anxiety based on what level the kids is playing. It's a complete Joke but Sadly, not funny. Great post! Have been thinking about this because it's been drama amongst some of the moms in our kids circle and it finally came to an end yesterday when we got a call saying "xxxx made the SCCL team at (insert club name).... so happy." Don't get me wrong, we are happy for the kid too but the approach to this was terrible The mom and other similar type of parents don't seem to be in it for their kids. It's more about them telling people. "We play for an SCCL team" or We play "Varsity" when they need to realize that playing a certain level doesn't necessarily mean that every player on that team is of that same level. First off - Take the "We" out of it. "We" don't play the game.. Our kids do. It should be "Their" team or "They" play so and so this weekend not "We" beat team X. Parents, get over yourselves. Secondly, stop assuming that if a player plays a a "lower" level, that they aren't good enough to play at a higher one. It's simply not true. Often times, kids stay at a so called "lower level" because of the coach.The higher level team's coach is not a good fit so some of the kids may have turned down an opportunity to play for him and he ends up taking girls who are not necessarily higher caliber. We see it all the time. Same applies to club hopping simply to say they play at a certain level. Rather than play for a big club's "A" team , parents shop around until they find a team that is need of extra bodes simply to say "Well, she plays SCCL" girls are getting offers to play SCCL this late, it's likely because the club is tying to simply trying to fill spots... Hopefully for the kids sake, they get playing time. Lastly, Cost - Some parents want their kids to still play at a competitive level but may not have the financial means to take on as many trips and tournaments so decide to play lower to allow the kid to still play. Unless your kids goal is to really play in college, please stop with the drama and just let them play and enjoy watching them. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on Jun 14, 2019 12:16:42 GMT -5
I could not agree more! This is spot on. Our family friend has an 03 team that has fallen apart and the Mom is the one who continues to say things like ...."Well, we don't want to stay because we don't want her to be the best on the team, she needs to be challenged" . "Oh we don't want to play there, that's too far." or "But that's not an "A" team...... Seriously - If the kid wants to play, let them play but now they have got so much anxiety based on what level the kids is playing. It's a complete Joke but Sadly, not funny. Great post! Have been thinking about this because it's been drama amongst some of the moms in our kids circle and it finally came to an end yesterday when we got a call saying "xxxx made the SCCL team at (insert club name).... so happy." Don't get me wrong, we are happy for the kid too but the approach to this was terrible The mom and other similar type of parents don't seem to be in it for their kids. It's more about them telling people. "We play for an SCCL team" or We play "Varsity" when they need to realize that playing a certain level doesn't necessarily mean that every player on that team is of that same level. First off - Take the "We" out of it. "We" don't play the game.. Our kids do. It should be "Their" team or "They" play so and so this weekend not "We" beat team X. Parents, get over yourselves. Secondly, stop assuming that if a player plays a a "lower" level, that they aren't good enough to play at a higher one. It's simply not true. Often times, kids stay at a so called "lower level" because of the coach.The higher level team's coach is not a good fit so some of the kids may have turned down an opportunity to play for him and he ends up taking girls who are not necessarily higher caliber. We see it all the time. Same applies to club hopping simply to say they play at a certain level. Rather than play for a big club's "A" team , parents shop around until they find a team that is need of extra bodes simply to say "Well, she plays SCCL" girls are getting offers to play SCCL this late, it's likely because the club is tying to simply trying to fill spots... Hopefully for the kids sake, they get playing time. Lastly, Cost - Some parents want their kids to still play at a competitive level but may not have the financial means to take on as many trips and tournaments so decide to play lower to allow the kid to still play. Unless your kids goal is to really play in college, please stop with the drama and just let them play and enjoy watching them. Other reasons why quality players may choose to play a lower level...they want to play other sports or do other school activities like drama or band and cannot manage both plus school. School alone is also a reason. We know of two girls that elected to drop down teams because they were concerned that their grades would suffer in high school if they had to travel out of state too often or miss days of school for soccer travel/showcases etc. On the flip side I have seen parents keep their kids on "higher" level teams despite not getting a lot of playing time and complaining about lack of playing time and yet when tryouts come they still want to be on the "higher" level team. Really, though, each child should decide their fate. As long as the child is enjoying the sport, that is all that really matters. |
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