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Post by egbbfb03 on Jun 8, 2020 21:04:38 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have.
Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team.
Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen.
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on Jun 8, 2020 21:17:39 GMT -5
Kudos to you and kudos to her. I wish more parents would set their egos aside and take the same approach as you and tell their kids to keep grinding, even if it is the 2nd team. You get better with time on the field, in actual games, as opposed to being on the top team and get a few sympathy minutes here and there. With that said, please keep encouraging her. Additionally, if at all possible, speak with the first team coach to see if there is any possibility of her practicing once or twice a week, with the top/bigger team. Another avenue to look into, is to get her training(privates) with girls older or bigger than her. She currently lacks size, but with time she'll overcome that. Have her use this time to work on her skills. Once size and skills catch up, she'll be a force to reckon with. Good Luck 👏👏👏
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Post by soccerlegacy on Jun 8, 2020 21:34:12 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. I feel your pain. I've dealt with a similar experience in my kid. Be proud and continue to support her. My kid has been in this spot for the majority of her play. Each time she gets a new coach, it all starts over again.... a lot fewer minutes, being overlooked... slowly but surely the coach recognizes that size is not a problem for her and by the end of the year, she is rarely coming off the field (often times becoming a coaching favorite). Its unfortunate that she has to prove herself over and over again (which she always does), just because she doesn't fit a prototype. What really sucks is having only three days of tryouts, when everyone is picked on the 1st day anyway. Coaches jump to the most notable trait (size) and are too afraid to risk or gamble on a smaller more skilled or aggressive player can handle it. It is the exception to the rule for a small player to be considered in circumstances like that. These coaches are the same ones that will praise players like Messi, Crystal Dunn and others, yet not see the potential with players right in front of them. It can be frustrating, but with your support and motivation, she will develop a mental toughness over some of those that never had to worry because they walk onto the field looking the part of a soccer player. |
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Post by Shesakeeper on Jun 8, 2020 21:52:03 GMT -5
We went through the same thing with my daughter, and that age especially was really tough. She is a goalkeeper too, which made it even worse. So many coaches out there would just overlook her because they think the bigger, taller girls are better in goal, not realizing that her reflexes, diving and agility are better than most of those. Now that she's a little older, she's catching up in height, but from 10-13, it was a struggle to get coaches to see her potential. There is a girl on her high school team that reminds me of this topic too, she's tiny but an absolute firecracker, one of the best I've seen, yet only playing SCCLp currently, while from what I've seen, she could handle ecnl. I don't have a solution but tell her she's not alone, and it will come, keep working hard and proving that she has what it takes. Best of luck to her!
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Post by oraclesfriend on Jun 8, 2020 22:24:17 GMT -5
We had a girl who played with my older daughter who was turned down at a club much closer to home for their second team (big club with lots of teams) because she was too small. She had played Athena A at U13 (before SCCL existed) at a small club. She went to another big club with lots of teams and made the second team. She is a really good player. Got a PDP invite at U14. She is still growing. Her dad is super tall (at least 6'4") and mom isn't short either. She is a late bloomer. Skills are great and she is tough as nails. I think this girl will be a force as a high school junior when she will finally mature a bit.
Tell your kid to keep fighting. She will be better for it in the long run. She will have developed all of those skills since she can't rely on pure strength and size to win.
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Post by soccernoleuk on Jun 9, 2020 6:32:31 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. I feel your pain as we are in a similar position. I am honestly shocked that you were told it was a size issue. We have never been told that, which is probably a good thing because I think it is an excuse. A lot of coaches, not just here in Metro Atlanta but across the country, look at size first and think they can develop soccer skills into a player. Well, look how well that has been turning out, especially on the boys/mens side of things. For us it is a tough situation. For the past 4 years my daughter has essentially been the last player cut from the top team. Yes this gives her a chance to shine on the 2nd team and get a lot of minutes. However, she really excels playing with the better competition, so missing those practices does hurt. She would honestly be a perfect fit for a "dual roster". Practicing a couple times a week with the top team, then getting her minutes with the 2nd team would be idea. Unfortunately her club doesn't believe in that, so we need to wait for her growth spurt so she can be looked at on equal ground with the others in her age group. Interesting story regarding this and our experience last year. During tryouts we could see she was being pigeon holed with the second team from the start. When the season started she started the first game and showed what she could do in a game situation. Afterwards the coach came up to me and asked where all that came from. I just shrugged and told him I wasn't sure what he was talking about because that is how she always plays. He proceeded to tell me she wouldn't be coming off the field much on his team and she needs to be ready to play a lot. He also told us she should be ready for a move up this year. Unfortunately she didn't have her growth spurt last year, so we are still on the 2nd team, while some shiny new players came in from other clubs to take top team spots. |
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Post by fan on Jun 9, 2020 6:45:07 GMT -5
I remember a girl my daughter played against in Academy who was always so much bigger and better than everyone else. We saw her again around U16 and she hardly had an impact on the game. I asked my daughter about her and she said “she’s not big anymore”. Almost everyone had caught up to her in size and many had passed her by in skill - probably because smaller players often have to work harder.
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Post by hattrick07 on Jun 9, 2020 8:42:12 GMT -5
I remember a girl my daughter played against in Academy who was always so much bigger and better than everyone else. We saw her again around U16 and she hardly had an impact on the game. I asked my daughter about her and she said “she’s not big anymore”. Almost everyone had caught up to her in size and many had passed her by in skill - probably because smaller players often have to work harder. It's true, many coaches look at size and size alone, but between U12-U14 - it all changes. Usually, the smaller girls have to overcompensate for their smaller stature by perfecting foot work and speed, so when they hit puberty - many of them outshine those who just depended on their size. Be patient and just encourage her - it will all even out. I have a late bloomer who plays on a top team, but she has to work twice as hard as those who have 6 inches on her. I too, hit puberty late, but when I turned 14.5 - I was towering over everyone at 5'10". |
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Post by soccerparent02 on Jun 9, 2020 9:00:14 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are.
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Post by slickdaddy96 on Jun 9, 2020 9:02:52 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. I am kind of in the same situation with my son. He played in a defender position with some defensive midfield play as well. He wants to play high school with his friends, but given that he likes to play a defensive roll and I know most high school coaches want big kids back there as defenders, I know he is a bit too small and needs to develop muscle in his body before tryouts this Spring. He plays for an SSA Select team, and is probably one of the best tacklers on the team defending. His flaws are that he is a bit slower than he needs to be and his size. Now he isn't some small kid, he is probably one of the tallest on the team, but he needs to build more muscle and he needs to work on his speed. My plan is to get him in a strengh/speed/conditioning program over the summer to get him to build muscle and speed in preparation for high school tryouts. I know I know high school soccer sucks skill wise, but we know our kids they just want to have fun and play with their friends so while I think select is more important, he thinks playing in high school is more important. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on Jun 9, 2020 9:27:55 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are. While this can be true my experience has been that some of the best at U10 remain on top teams because they have always been on top teams not because they deserve it. There are some at U10 that are amazing and remain amazing. Some that were only "good" because of size and or speed and those do occasionally slip down the ladder as others get bigger and faster with age, but some do not. Some late bloomers don't get a chance due to the undeserving top teamers. Preconceived notions about the quality of a player are hard to overcome. |
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Post by datrain on Jun 9, 2020 9:56:51 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are. I will respectfully disagree with this point, especially on the boys side. You don't know what you really have until a boy has gone through his growth spurt. My son played ice hockey for many years in the NE to complement his soccer development. He was blessed to have one of USA Hockey's youth coaches as his first coach.....he made it clear, you have no idea where a kid really is until they are 14 -15 years old. There are plenty of kids that shoot up early and get a short-term size and strength advantage. But if the rate of growth of technical development does not keep up or exceed physical development, they ultimately get left behind. Quality coaches know this...especially coaches that are typically a bit younger. The other factor is burn out. Does that 10 yo still have the fire in the belly to excel at 14 yo....or does he or she now have other interests? Too many times parents project their own aspirations on their children. |
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Post by fridge on Jun 9, 2020 12:46:43 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are. I respectfully but strongly disagree, too. My experience is that much can change bt u10 and u17. While size and athleticism are important, they can be overcome. Grit, fight, and fortitude (survivability) are far more important in my experience. There are many obstacles for kids between u10 and u17 (e.g. social life) that ends soccer careers. Frankly, one of the biggest is how the kid handles adversity. Do they quit or keep fighting. I know so many kids who were the studs at u13 who never made it to the next level due to the obstacles noted herein. Your kid due to her size and the fact she is still playing has shown grit, fight and fortitude. Tell her that whenever she leaves the field you want to be able to tell her one thing, "I am proud of you bc you were the hardest working kid out there today." If she is doing well in other areas of play, heart and effort many times gets kids next level opportunities. |
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Post by randomparent on Jun 9, 2020 14:04:03 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are. Agreed. Size on the boys size is so important. Can kids overcome it? Sure. But they are the exception not the norm. |
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Post by newposter on Jun 9, 2020 16:19:12 GMT -5
Size does matter. At older ages, 5 ft 5 kids aren't playing in back. Kids team had 6 ft 1 plus across the back along with athleticism and soccer skill. Rarely are goalies on top teams under 6 feet. This is true in many sports.
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Post by allthingsoccer on Jun 9, 2020 19:27:15 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. |
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Post by dadofthree on Jun 9, 2020 19:48:51 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. Tell you daughter it will happen. My daughter was in same position she was too small and too slow as a freshmen because she hadnt grown. She got frustrated at times and got cut and missed out on a number of different things because coaches would say too small too slow. She worked her tail off and became a very technical player then she grew. She went from 5 feet as a freshmen to 5 7 now as a senior. She is still not the fastest but technically she is as good as anyone and she will be playing D1 next year. It happens.....if my daughter had given up she wouldnt have been able to live her dream from when she first started soccer to play D1 in college. |
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Post by soccermom667 on Jun 9, 2020 21:48:31 GMT -5
Size is going to be a factor. It has been our experience that the best players at u10 remain the best at u14 and u15 and so on. There will be an occasional exception but that's an exception. The coaches all know who the best players are and where they play. Frankly, the players know who they are. Agreed. Size on the boys size is so important. Can kids overcome it? Sure. But they are the exception not the norm. I definitely agree with this and my son is the smallest on his team and always has been. Thankfully he has had coaches who seem to be willing to give him some time to grow physically to catch up with his soccer skills. It's nerve wracking every year at tryouts, though, wondering if at U15 they will still take a kid who is a foot shorter than many on the team and easily 50-70 lbs lighter. |
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Post by egbbfb03 on Jun 10, 2020 5:32:12 GMT -5
Thank you all for the replies. Great information and it seems as if there are several who have shared the same experiences.
As a parent, we all want the best for our kids even on the soccer field. I told her last night that to me the biggest compliment as her dad isnt playing on the top team (although that is a goal of hers) but it is when other parents and her current coach compliment on her hard work and never give up attitude on the soccer field. She has to work harder than others on the field bc of her lack of size.
One day soccer will be over but she will still have many years ahead of her. Keep that "nobody will outwork me" attitude and the sky is the limit. THAT is what matters........best of luck to all of your children.
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Post by soccerparent02 on Jun 10, 2020 9:09:44 GMT -5
Lots of life lessons learned in soccer or other sports like hard work, dedication, teamwork, following instructions etc. Hopefully kids will enjoy the beautiful game along the way!
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Post by georgiasoccerdad on Jun 10, 2020 9:23:43 GMT -5
Two things I would add to this conversation:
We had a coach at our club tell a couple of kids they would never play for him because of their size. Both left the club, one of them just completed her freshmen season in college playing almost 1500 minutes.
We also played Super Y for a couple of summers with a younger girl on the team- she could be knocked down with a slight wind- but she always got back up. She's now in the National team pool for her age.
As one dad (with three kids playing college soccer) told me, soccer is played low to the ground not up in the air.
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Post by mistergrinch on Jun 10, 2020 9:37:13 GMT -5
As one dad (with three kids playing college soccer) told me, soccer is played low to the ground not up in the air. Well.. unless you're Abby Wambach.. but your point stands.
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Post by rudy on Jun 10, 2020 9:46:51 GMT -5
In EPL, avg height is 5 feet, 11 1/2 tall. Bundeslig avg. 6 feet with La Liga 5 feet, 10-3/4.
I wouldn't say they are short. Forwards typically shorter and backs taller.
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Post by soccerworld1974 on Jun 14, 2020 12:11:33 GMT -5
Give it time, it will work itself out.
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Post by atlsoccerdad on Jun 15, 2020 7:59:56 GMT -5
Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. 1. You are a good parent and the lessons your child will learn through hard work are invaluable 2. Those are great coaches with good advice that are actually looking out for your kid. Minutes matter - game time situations cannot be simulated. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on Jun 15, 2020 8:39:32 GMT -5
Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. 1. You are a good parent and the lessons your child will learn through hard work are invaluable 2. Those are great coaches with good advice that are actually looking out for your kid. Minutes matter - game time situations cannot be simulated. If they are really looking out for the kid then they will be letting that kid train with the top team at least once per week but preferably twice. If she is good enough to have even 40% time on the top team then let her train with the top team players until she is mature physically. I agree that game time is very important, but training with better players than yourself is important too. Good luck to your kid. I hope she gets her chance. |
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Post by atlsoccerdad on Jun 15, 2020 9:30:24 GMT -5
1. You are a good parent and the lessons your child will learn through hard work are invaluable 2. Those are great coaches with good advice that are actually looking out for your kid. Minutes matter - game time situations cannot be simulated. If they are really looking out for the kid then they will be letting that kid train with the top team at least once per week but preferably twice. If she is good enough to have even 40% time on the top team then let her train with the top team players until she is mature physically. I agree that game time is very important, but training with better players than yourself is important too. Good luck to your kid. I hope she gets her chance. Agree 100% with this. |
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Post by ursu22 on Jun 15, 2020 19:12:41 GMT -5
kinda feel bad for my kid. Works very hard for a U13 and gives 100% on the field. Been playing at 2nd level team and is the captain of the team. She wants to play at the top level and she can. She more than holds her own when she has the chance to play but she is tiny. Has a very late birthday and simply has not grown yet while most of the others have. Looks like she will begin on the 2nd level team again. Coaches just say too small and would rather have her play 90% of the minutes on the second team instead to maybe 40% on the top team. Frustrated for her but tell her keep working hard and good things will happen. |
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Post by forsythsd on Jun 16, 2020 7:41:48 GMT -5
Prioritize playing time over ranking. It's far better to be a starter on a lower team than a sub on a higher.
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Post by fridge on Jun 16, 2020 8:44:30 GMT -5
Prioritize playing time over ranking. It's far better to be a starter on a lower team than a sub on a higher. I think this is stated w/ too broad of a brush. If the kid has college aspirations, I do not necessarily agree. I would agree that say below u14 the statement may be somewhat true. But, at u14 and older, exposure is key. Going to say an ECNL showcase where 50 coaches may be on the sidelines for one game and the club coach should do more equal play at a showcase, the exposure is huge. Starting on a lower team that won't even get 50 coaches to watch them all season creates challenges. Further, as someone stated above, practicing with faster/better players is very important. It makes you better. I appreciate that not playing a lot in games is very very mentally tough and not for everyone. But, if the goal is college, I'd recommend getting on the highest level team, working hard, and hopefully getting great exposure at showcases. Quick personal observation--we were w/ a high level team where due to location/travel issues, 2 or 3 girls on the team practiced 90% of the time w/ a lower team near their homes. To my surprise, by season's end, ALL of those girls were well behind the girls who practiced w/ the top girls 100% of the time. The gap was significant. |
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