U9 Parents Thoughts

I'm more than a few years removed from U9 Academy soccer but as the 'seasoned' soccer mom, my advice to you still stands - let him play - without intervention - just let him play. 

Don't turn that microphone on and 'coach' from the sidelines - the work you're doing outside or practices is awesome and great for two reasons - 1 - his development and 2 -your relationship with him.  You are his dad - not his coach.  Tough words to hear - even tougher to live.  If he's got 50 juggles at 8 years old, that is amazing - let him enjoy that and continue to have fun with it - the results will come from those skills and his desire.  He and his fellow players are eight - let them play.

And what I wish someone would have drilled into my head at U9 is that it's a bunch of eight year olds on a field - you may as well have hyperactive inattentive cats out there to herd.  This is called 'Academy' for a reason - it's the education of soccer for children 8-11 years old.  Pooling players to you and other parents may seem ineffective and interfering with results (aka momma wants to win all the time), but to your son, it's more fellow 8 year olds to play with - to the coaches, it's more 8 year old players to watch - to develop and to select in a few years when it really gets real and starts to count.  If your son works on his skills with you and continues to have fun with his teammates and coaches, he will develop into the player who is selected for that top team at U13 - when it really counts.

For now, just enjoy watching 8 year old little boys bond and learn and grow together.  And enjoy your time with him doing what he loves even more.  But don't coach him from the sidelines - verbally or in that imaginary microphone.  Duct tape the mouths of any parents who do.  They're eight - they'll make mistakes - they'll lose games - they'll bunch up like hyperactive cats on the field and come off laughing even when they do.  I miss the U9, U10 years when they are still just little kids on the soccer field.  Remember that - they are little kids having fun.  Academy wins and losses are just learning experiences and not the end all of a soccer career.

Have a great season - U9 is kind of magical and a ton of fun!

Spectator is so right. I am far from perfect. Have made my share of parenting mistakes in many arenas, including the soccer field. But one thing I keep trying to remind myself, over and over, is that if any kid can do something really great out there for even just a few minutes that is awesome! You cannot fake a demonstration of skill or a brilliant reading of the game to make the perfect pass, the perfect run, the perfect step to intercept a pass and start a devastating counter. Even if it just happens once or twice a game during the academy years that is awesome. That shows you something. You cannot do that even once without having some skill (I am not a believer in the even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and again philosophy with regard to skilled pursuits). Over the course of time it might happen more often. It might not. It is the good and great players that extend and increase the frequency of those moments of brilliance. Not everyone can do this. Even the most seasoned and top level professionals have bonehead moments. This is a hard hard game with so many variables that affect performance.

Athletics in general are tough physically and psychologically. Did anyone read the Totti interview this morning on Goal.com? He was lamenting how much more physical the game is today. Skill has been de-emphasized at the expense of power he was saying. Sound familiar? He says it has made the game less fun for him. We should try and keep it fun for our kids for as long as possible. Chances are very very low that athletics will be their profession.

Anyway, this game is not for everyone. I cannot believe the beating my kids take out there. They play hard and tend to give as good as they get, but it is taxing both physically and psychologically. Even at younger ages. And it can be embarrassing not only to get beat in front of the other players and the crowd but then to have people you love and trust tell you to do better right there in front of everybody. And we as parents don't help when we yell for them to be more aggressive, etc. I feel so badly for some kids out there. We help by realizing they are doing what they can when they can to the limit of their ability and interest in doing so.

One of my kids recently in 3v3 had ball deep in own end, tried a double move to get around defender, got picked and the girl scored. Everyone else groaned. Thankfully something came over me to stand up (I usually stay seated and let things play out) and clap and say what a great try it was. You can't succeed if you don't try. It will be fine next time. Etc etc. I could tell by her expression it made a huge difference to her even though she was still pissed. She seemed to keep feeling confident and continued to play well. Now imagine what would have happened if I would have stood up and asked what were you thinking? Get the ball outside! Don't dribble in traffic in front of your own goal! Etc etc.

It is so great to watch them be athletic at these ages. Amazing really. I enjoy watching them show what they can do. And I hope I always remember to let them know that, regardless of whether they win or lose, or look like a great player for a few moments or an average player on an average team.

I am sure your response was written with best intentions. That said, just for the record -

1. Didn't say pooling players was ineffective. There are folks that think that but I haven't seen enough to say one way or the other.
2. I don't coach from the sidelines. Wishing versus doing is different. It doesn't mean there aren't times I wish that I could remind him that he is right midfielder not left back but I keep quiet.
3.  Rather have not mentioned the juggles. I threw that in at the end. 
4. Have fun and spend time with your kids. I get it, have three kids and do it already.

My post - like several others here - was meant to be reflective and offer up what I (and others) learned along the way in Academy soccer and in no way was accusing you of any behavior or questioning your parenting - sorry you read it that way.


Enjoy your U9 season.