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Post by soccerfan30 on Sept 19, 2014 12:51:32 GMT -5
Happy 1 year anniversary to the forum, since we were asked to contribute a topic that would generate many responses for the monthly contest I thought I would start this one. What qualities are important in a coach are important to you as a parent? In disclosure I've been a club, high school, college and ODP coach for the last 12 years and I'm always amazed as to what parents will accept from a coach, especially if it's a high level winning team, that in a normal relationship that they would probably not allow. Off the top of my head here are some examples: Verbal Abuse- what do you allow and what do you interpret as verbal abuse, motivation or "tough love" Is the character of a coach relevant to his/her coaching ability? Many will say that what they do off the field is their own business and that as long as it's doesn't impact the team/kids that's it's not their concern. I would say for some kids that their parents/coaches may be their primary role models because they may lack a tangible example at home. I played and traveled extensively growing up and honestly I don't remember the trophies, wins, etc but I do remember the life lessons/teachable moments my coaches imparted on me and those moments had more impact on me as a person outside the athletic arena. I've seen some parents act apathetic in regards to a coaches arrest for DUI's and/or behavior issues, some with multiple offenses, since it's away from the field does that matter or no? Would you be happy with a player that never practiced with the team but started every game because she was an impact player and helped the team win, even if it was at your child's expense? If your team had scholarship player(s) that were well off financially but because they were an impact player were allowed to have a free ride, would you be ok with that? What if the additional team fees for those scholarship players were being passed onto the parents without their knowledge/consent? If your team has 15 players, all are healthy and your coach wants to bring in three guest players for a tournament which displaces your child and their playing time, how would you react to that? What message does that send? What if your daughter is on a ECNL club second team and they bring in five ECNL players to play with them and they have 18 players? How patient are you as a parent in regards to a club/coach philosophy? True development takes time maybe at the expense of initially winning games, not to say development and winning are mutually exclusive but what are your expectations as a parent?I know some players that have been at three clubs in three years and haven't even reached the age of 14 yet. The reality is that most coaches are judged on wins/losses and if the team isn't winning then parents will seek other options even if everyone on the team is improving. In order for players to get better they have to be allowed to take risk and make mistakes, those mistakes may impact the result but many coaches will not allow their players that freedom and micro manage every aspect of the game. A simple example: someone mentioned in a previous post about young defenders and the ODP selection progress, many club coaches will not allow defenders to build out of the back or learn to switch the point of attack because he/she may lose possession in front of the goal and result in a goal, so instead they just "boot it" upfield which typically results in a 50/50 situation. Even at the ODP level we have to work on this because many players aren't allowed to do so on their club teams. The beauty of ODP is that it's not results based and geared to individual player exposure so they are allowed that freedom without fear of mistakes. Well that's a start, feel free to chime in accordingly  |
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Post by jash on Sept 19, 2014 14:03:35 GMT -5
Whew that is a lot to cover. I'll start with my philosophy that unless you are at the very top of the hierarchy, then everything up to U19 or so should be about developing players. Winning games should be secondary -- not that it isn't important, but that you should not do so at the cost of developing players.
With that philosophy, I'm not a fan of guest players JUST for helping the team win, ESPECIALLY at the cost of playing time for the players that were selected for the team. I'm also not a fan of leaving your best players on the field for the entire game while some players don't even get a half game of time.
We have coaches out there with Classic 2 teams who act like this is professional soccer. They forget that these kids all have hopes and dreams and feelings, and that winning games definitely isn't everything to them.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 19, 2014 14:36:33 GMT -5
Going to have to go dual screen for this one!
first comment - i've always been impressed with the quality of coaching at tophat. from what i've witnessed their top 2 teams in each age group play quality soccer.
well, my responses are going to be for a motivated top tier player, which i think 2 of 3 of my children are.
i don't mind the verbal abuse honestly. i dont want them to be cursed at non-stop, but don't treat them like 6 year olds. When i say verbal abuse, its constructive abuse. the kids know when they are dogging it or disrupting a session and for that they get called out. dont' drop f bombs though, a few bad words here and there isn't the end of the world.
honestly, i'm close with all my kids coaches, but that's who i am. We kind of always just hit it off. That being said, I don't really care what they do on their free time. but, handle it professionally. show up on time and be prepared. but what i've seen at our club, those that aren't professional, don't last very long!!
not a fan of kids playing with teams they don't train with during the week. don't like it all. if you need bodies on a given week thats fine, but not a fan of the "play up" that trains with one team then shows up to play with the older team every weekend. parents don't like it on either side.
our club has many scholarship players, i for one don't mind helping out. just don't take advantage of us.
this is where i find it sometimes conflicting. coaches that dont' care about winning, but then week after week, certain kids never come out of the game. always confused about this.
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Post by rifle on Sept 19, 2014 14:41:51 GMT -5
I think you're gonna be the guest moderator....
I want a coach who is ethical, who has a life besides coaching my kid, who is fair and rational but isn't afraid to express him/herself. I want a coach who does more than talk about himself.
I want a coach who has the trust of the DOC, who can state goals and demonstrate steps to reach them.
I don't want a coach who is always broke and eggs us on to do private training so he can buy beer.
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Post by Keeper on Sept 19, 2014 15:12:14 GMT -5
I don't want a coach who is always broke and eggs us on to do private training so he can buy beer. Hahaha if I only had time to do private training, I might not always be broke then. I can't even find time between my teams now to help out an old player with her GK training and her parents are willing to pay big bucks! |
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Post by lovethegame on Sept 19, 2014 16:13:06 GMT -5
Whew that is a lot to cover. I'll start with my philosophy that unless you are at the very top of the hierarchy, then everything up to U19 or so should be about developing players. Winning games should be secondary -- not that it isn't important, but that you should not do so at the cost of developing players. With that philosophy, I'm not a fan of guest players JUST for helping the team win, ESPECIALLY at the cost of playing time for the players that were selected for the team. I'm also not a fan of leaving your best players on the field for the entire game while some players don't even get a half game of time. We have coaches out there with Classic 2 teams who act like this is professional soccer. They forget that these kids all have hopes and dreams and feelings, and that winning games definitely isn't everything to them. I agree with all you've said. Even though my child is on a top level team, I want to see her develop. She is in her last year of youth soccer, and I want to see her continue to learn. Thankfully, her coach is concerned about the development of all of his players, not just a few of them. Here's a question for the coaches. How do you balance your relationship with the parents? I've seen some coaches get to familiar, but others are so distant. Our club must direct the coaches to keep parents at arms length. I can't think of many coaches over the course of several years that I feel the least bit comfortable around. I don't need them to be my friend, but I would like to feel as I know my child and know a little bit about soccer. |
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Post by Soccerhouse on Sept 19, 2014 16:52:35 GMT -5
their is a coach at a Club who really likes Nothing but charging folks for extra Junky sessions Juggling balls, futsal indoor etc...
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Post by soccerfan30 on Sept 19, 2014 17:25:48 GMT -5
Whew that is a lot to cover. I'll start with my philosophy that unless you are at the very top of the hierarchy, then everything up to U19 or so should be about developing players. Winning games should be secondary -- not that it isn't important, but that you should not do so at the cost of developing players. With that philosophy, I'm not a fan of guest players JUST for helping the team win, ESPECIALLY at the cost of playing time for the players that were selected for the team. I'm also not a fan of leaving your best players on the field for the entire game while some players don't even get a half game of time. We have coaches out there with Classic 2 teams who act like this is professional soccer. They forget that these kids all have hopes and dreams and feelings, and that winning games definitely isn't everything to them. I agree with all you've said. Even though my child is on a top level team, I want to see her develop. She is in her last year of youth soccer, and I want to see her continue to learn. Thankfully, her coach is concerned about the development of all of his players, not just a few of them. Here's a question for the coaches. How do you balance your relationship with the parents? I've seen some coaches get to familiar, but others are so distant. Our club must direct the coaches to keep parents at arms length. I can't think of many coaches over the course of several years that I feel the least bit comfortable around. I don't need them to be my friend, but I would like to feel as I know my child and know a little bit about soccer. I try to have a balance in regards to off field interactions with parents and players mainly due to perceptions of fairness, speaking for myself I'm not from Atlanta nor do I have any family here so these players and parents are almost like a second family to me, it's hard not to have some form of emotional investment into the players after being with a group for three to four years. I've been to my players Letter of Intent Signings at their High Schools, reached out to colleges on their behalf, organized a team visit when one of them tore her ACL, we all stopped by her house to lift her spirits after her surgery, even when you have to make those hard decisions as a coach and make changes within the team I have always tried to help players secure a spot on a new team even at a different club. I try to do right by people as best as I can, forget the wins and losses, your integrity/character as a coach I believe is the biggest defining attribute. As far as the parents go we hang out in the lobby at tournaments or go out to eat as a team, I'm always available to talk with them about their child and answer any questions, but try to keep the off field socialization at arms length, mainly to protect perceptions and myself. I know some coaches that avoid parents like the plague, one even said "parents are good for two things: getting their kids to practice and writing the check"....I couldn't believe it, I guess I'm just old school, I don't view my players as commodities. |
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Post by sidelinemama on Sept 19, 2014 18:58:56 GMT -5
Without going point by point on every detail, I do like a Coach who is willing to try to develop and play each player on the team. We're from a small club, and you never know when you may need that player. Life is too short, not to give everyone a chance-especially at the younger ages.
I am not with the guest players taking away playing time from teammates. They should supplement, not replace.
But my biggest pet peeve in a coach, and luckily we have not had to deal with this, is the us of SHAME to get kids to perform. I lament the fact that this was ever used on me as an athlete, and I hate when I see coaches doing it to their players. It is NOT productive and can be quite damaging.
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Post by youthsoccerdad on Sept 19, 2014 22:55:44 GMT -5
I want a coach who can communicate clearly and is consistent. I want to arrive at practice and say, this looks like a good practice the boys are getting touches on the ball or learning to keep shape, etc. As someone else mentioned, I am still trying to get my arms around the concept of not being concerned about winning when game management usually does not align with playing time & positions.
Regarding scholarship players, very little input there. I am not super big fan of scholarship players on expensive travel teams in general since about 0 kids playing will ever play professionally. In the end I would collect the money for scholarship programs and give the to clubs in disadvantaged areas to run house leagues or offer those kids spots on a non travel team. I think that could help a lot more folks.
I am patient with regards to our clubs/coach philosophy. Not sure anything really matters than to take a look at the top clubs at U13 to see the answer of whether it works or not. I guess recruiting and club size skews that to a degree but can't think of a clearer way to judge the clubs doing the best job at developing players.
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Post by mamampira on Sept 20, 2014 9:25:51 GMT -5
A coach that brings honesty, objectivity, and a detailed understanding of what needs to be done.
Verbal Abuse- what do you allow and what do you interpret as verbal abuse, motivation or "tough love"
No curse words, no racial undertones, no form of discrimination or gender discrimination. Nothing wrong with being direct and use some level of tough love.
Is the character of a coach relevant to his/her coaching ability? Many will say that what they do off the field is their own business and that as long as it's doesn't impact the team/kids that's it's not their concern. I would say for some kids that their parents/coaches may be their primary role models because they may lack a tangible example at home. I played and traveled extensively growing up and honestly I don't remember the trophies, wins, etc but I do remember the life lessons/teachable moments my coaches imparted on me and those moments had more impact on me as a person outside the athletic arena. I've seen some parents act apathetic in regards to a coaches arrest for DUI's and/or behavior issues, some with multiple offenses, since it's away from the field does that matter or no?
Important because the last thing you want is a player not taking a coach seriously. Players are human beings and as preteens can and do discern. Above all, it shows a lack of discipline off the pitch,
Would you be happy with a player that never practiced with the team but started every game because she was an impact player and helped the team win, even if it was at your child's expense?
Of course not, because I am a paying parent. It is not always about winning. It is about your child getting better at training and at game time. As much as I want to win, my goal is to see my child improve.
If your team had scholarship player(s) that were well off financially but because they were an impact player were allowed to have a free ride, would you be ok with that? What if the additional team fees for those scholarship players were being passed onto the parents without their knowledge/consent?
This is a ridiculous situation. I am surprised such a question/scenario would come up?! Shame on the parents that will accept scholarships when they are financially well off and shame on the club that would condone such.
If your team has 15 players, all are healthy and your coach wants to bring in three guest players for a tournament which displaces your child and their playing time, how would you react to that? What message does that send? What if your daughter is on a ECNL club second team and they bring in five ECNL players to play with them and they have 18 players?
Its a tournament. It is a weekend thing, whether or not my child gets to play in the tournament and if they win, then the hurt is a bit more bearable; happens a lot in tournaments.
How patient are you as a parent in regards to a club/coach philosophy? True development takes time maybe at the expense of initially winning games, not to say development and winning are mutually exclusive but what are your expectations as a parent?I know some players that have been at three clubs in three years and haven't even reached the age of 14 yet. The reality is that most coaches are judged on wins/losses and if the team isn't winning then parents will seek other options even if everyone on the team is improving. In order for players to get better they have to be allowed to take risk and make mistakes, those mistakes may impact the result but many coaches will not allow their players that freedom and micro manage every aspect of the game. A simple example: someone mentioned in a previous post about young defenders and the ODP selection progress, many club coaches will not allow defenders to build out of the back or learn to switch the point of attack because he/she may lose possession in front of the goal and result in a goal, so instead they just "boot it" upfield which typically results in a 50/50 situation. Even at the ODP level we have to work on this because many players aren't allowed to do so on their club teams. The beauty of ODP is that it's not results based and geared to individual player exposure so they are allowed that freedom without fear of mistakes.
Most coaches cow-tow to parents in terms of winning matches. In my observation, very little is done in terms of development. That is why players are always moving, and coaches are always recruiting. If they paid more attention to development, there would be less movement. Some clubs are very well known as recruiting clubs, they go out looking for developed players as opposed to doing their jobs. Development is not done on a grand scale.
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Post by soccerpapi on Sept 20, 2014 21:22:33 GMT -5
Happy 1 year anniversary to the forum, since we were asked to contribute a topic that would generate many responses for the monthly contest I thought I would start this one. What qualities are important in a coach are important to you as a parent? When my child was in rec or pre-select academy years and complaining about one coach vs. another.. I used to advise them of the similarities to early childhood teachers, and that they should not expect to "like" every single one assigned, but the good news is that they would be taught something different, pick up a different unique lesson, and they would be assigned a new one for the upcoming school/soccer year (to stick it out and complete their commitment).In disclosure I've been a club, high school, college and ODP coach for the last 12 years and I'm always amazed as to what parents will accept from a coach, especially if it's a high level winning team, that in a normal relationship that they would probably not allow. Off the top of my head here are some examples: Verbal Abuse- what do you allow and what do you interpret as verbal abuse, motivation or "tough love" There is a fine line between verbal abuse, and "tough love" as you call it - this also depends on whether the player is a boy or girl (personality type of that player). Response also depends on age group (U10 where players' emotion may be more fragile versus U16/U17 which may require different Coaching style for the proper response). Obvious red signs and deal breakers: physical abuse, any sort of discrimination, negative/abusive name calling, extreme profanities, as well as signs of improper contact - towards any player.
Is the character of a coach relevant to his/her coaching ability? Many will say that what they do off the field is their own business and that as long as it's doesn't impact the team/kids that's it's not their concern. I would say for some kids that their parents/coaches may be their primary role models because they may lack a tangible example at home. I played and traveled extensively growing up and honestly I don't remember the trophies, wins, etc but I do remember the life lessons/teachable moments my coaches imparted on me and those moments had more impact on me as a person outside the athletic arena. I've seen some parents act apathetic in regards to a coaches arrest for DUI's and/or behavior issues, some with multiple offenses, since it's away from the field does that matter or no?
This is predominantly up to the Club to police by performing necessary background checks, and by ensuring said Coach fit the Culture and philosophy of that Club - One would expect this to be part of the service that parents are paying for. Having said that just like you would do for your Child's teacher, you can do some llimited research on your own as well in regards to Coaches (ask previous players, parents, Coaches, etc.) to truly know what that Coach is like off the field - metro Atlanta is still a pretty "recycled" Coaching market.Would you be happy with a player that never practiced with the team but started every game because she was an impact player and helped the team win, even if it was at your child's expense?
A good Coach who encourages a drama-free team, and who focuses on player development and high performing "self-less" team would not allow this - the worse thing to do is make certain players feel "special" and better than the sum of the whole team.If your team had scholarship player(s) that were well off financially but because they were an impact player were allowed to have a free ride, would you be ok with that? What if the additional team fees for those scholarship players were being passed onto the parents without their knowledge/consent? This should be need-base scholarship only - PROs and CONs in automatic-disclosing these details (more trouble than it's worth to auto-disclose, I think - some soccer mommies or pappies are looking for drama), albeit this info should be available (if requested) just like referee, uniform, and landscaping/turf fees, should be available to share.
If your team has 15 players, all are healthy and your coach wants to bring in three guest players for a tournament which displaces your child and their playing time, how would you react to that? What message does that send? What if your daughter is on a ECNL club second team and they bring in five ECNL players to play with them and they have 18 players? See two responses earlier:
A good Club/Coach who encourages a drama-free team, development versus win at all cost will never do this.
Different story if you have a roster of 15, and 2-3 injuries requiring back fills.
How patient are you as a parent in regards to a club/coach philosophy? True development takes time maybe at the expense of initially winning games, not to say development and winning are mutually exclusive but what are your expectations as a parent?I know some players that have been at three clubs in three years and haven't even reached the age of 14 yet. The reality is that most coaches are judged on wins/losses and if the team isn't winning then parents will seek other options even if everyone on the team is improving. In order for players to get better they have to be allowed to take risk and make mistakes, those mistakes may impact the result but many coaches will not allow their players that freedom and micro manage every aspect of the game. A simple example: someone mentioned in a previous post about young defenders and the ODP selection progress, many club coaches will not allow defenders to build out of the back or learn to switch the point of attack because he/she may lose possession in front of the goal and result in a goal, so instead they just "boot it" upfield which typically results in a 50/50 situation. Even at the ODP level we have to work on this because many players aren't allowed to do so on their club teams. The beauty of ODP is that it's not results based and geared to individual player exposure so they are allowed that freedom without fear of mistakes.
Unfortunately, development vs. Win at all cost philosophy is the exception and not the rule in our society - lots of pressure for Coaches/Clubs to win (most parents want something to brag about at work or with their neighbors on Monday morning about little Johnny or little Mia's team - It does not sound as good to say "boy, did Johnny's team lose 9-0 this past weekend, but he is sure getting some development at practices - just wait for 3-more years, and you'll see").
IMO - if you feel that your kid is getting the right technical development irrespective of wins or losses, then one should not be so hasteful to switch clubs/teams because of a loss. However, for the majority of kids, going PRO is not the ultimate goal, but an athletic scholarship is - If that is your child's goal, and they have what it takes to play NAIA, D1, D2 or D3 (with the right academic match), I believe that you should begin finding the right environment as early as U14 to ensure that your player get an opportunity to be seen by the right academic/athletic institution/scouts. This may sometime conflict with development, but it does not have to (one can still develop on a "mediocre" team, but one will not get too many college looks on that team, and will need to work harder individually (as in spending money to travel solo to college ID camps) to be seen, but not impossible.Well that's a start, feel free to chime in accordingly |
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