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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 12:30:28 GMT -5
ok, guys need advice.
Our team played very well in our preseason tournaments. Since the start of athena/classic play we have completely under performed. Our coach had a certain lineup that was successful and it has been abandoned completely. the biggest problem is obvious, complete lack of possession from our back 4.
So, do I sit back and watch this team fall apart, or intervene and talk to the coach? i've already had some conversations with other coaches at the club.
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Post by spectator on Sept 28, 2014 13:21:55 GMT -5
My advice - which you can take with whatever you want - back off. Seriously - stop talking to other coaches about your current team. And if you do decide to talk to your current coach - keep the following in mind:
1. Pre-season is just that - pre-season. Are you playing the same teams you beat in pre-season and losing? Maybe the rosters aren't the same? Maybe in pre-season those teams were missing players? Maybe you played other teams that weren't at your level and you weren't really challenged. Pre-season is a warm up - a chance for the coach to see who plays best where - leading me to ...
2. What you see as a successful lineup may not be what the coach sees. If you played easier teams and had different players in other positions but now that the playing field is different, he or she may see where those players are better fits.
3. What age and level are we talking here? If you're U13 - that's freaking crap shoot in fall anyway. You just don't know where these teams will land and you may have been over placed in the bracket. If your team is U14 or up, are you new to the bracket? Moving from C to B or B to A is a huge thing whether you want to admit it or not. The speed of play increases the higher up you go. It's an adjustment and most of the time newly relegated teams don't tear it up their first season in the new bracket.
4. How many games are we talking about here - less than half the season? CHILL OUT. The team isn't falling apart mid season - there's a lot of soccer left - a good month and a half. RELAX.
Finally - unless your own player is part of that back four you are critizing - drop that. No coach wants to hear a parent gripe about other players and most coaches will refuse to talk to a parent about any player other than their own.
Again - just my advice - I have seen first hand when a parent starts to intervene with a coach's decision making that it ultimately hurts the team and their own player. Coaches are human - they have egos and feelings and when you start questioning their abilities or talking about them behind their back to their peers within the club, be prepared for some form of retaliation - be it less playing time for your kid, possibly being cut from the team or other upset parents at you and your player. If you truly believe this team is 'falling apart', make your plans now for tryouts next year elsewhere. If you're U14 or under, try to switch mid season if you can. But my advice stands - back off and don't stir the pot. Play this out for fall and make a move if you're truly that upset with the results. Start shopping for a team now - but, be forewarned, that if you become 'that parent' or 'that player' who bolts every time things aren't all smiles and wins, it will catch up and hurt your player later on.
There are players (and parents) in my daughter's age group with reputations for being club hoppers and the parents are constantly griping at every team and every coach they have. Eventually no team will want that. Just bear this in mind before starting anything where you are now.
Good luck to you though
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Post by oldboy on Sept 28, 2014 14:36:38 GMT -5
I will second the advice above.
The coach has an opinion. You have an opinion. Every other parent up and down your sideline has an opinion. The coach is the only one who gets paid to have that opinion and work with the team.
Teams win and lose. Sometimes for obvious reasons, sometimes for subtle reasons, and sometimes because they are young and inconsistent. The lower the level the more often you can blame inconsistency.
Be a parent. Don't try to coach. If your player is unhappy and wants to change teams or clubs then help them do so. If your player likes playing with his/her friends and you spend more time pondering the results than your player, then start taking a book to the game and ignoring what happens on the field.
There's really nothing constructive you can do. Are the kids safe mentally and physically with their current coach? That's really the only area you should ever intervene in.
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Post by rifle on Sept 28, 2014 20:59:52 GMT -5
ok, guys need advice. Our team played very well in our preseason tournaments. Since the start of athena/classic play we have completely under performed. Our coach had a certain lineup that was successful and it has been abandoned completely. the biggest problem is obvious, complete lack of possession from our back 4. So, do I sit back and watch this team fall apart, or intervene and talk to the coach? i've already had some conversations with other coaches at the club. What age & level? |
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Post by soccerpapi on Sept 28, 2014 21:57:50 GMT -5
Agree with most of what's been said. Key question is - what age and level?
U13 and below - sit back and relax, and enjoy priceless time with your kid on the field, they will be over soon enough.
U14 and up - sit back and relax - perhaps talk to your kid (constructively and calmly and get their thoughts on the team, and what he/she could be doing better, and what the team could be doing better as a whole. If you do talk to the Coach, keep the discussion focus on your player, and what he/she could be doing better to help the team.
If this persists in December or in May 2015, and your kid expresses interest in better (more competitive) options, support them and ask them if they want to pursue options within the club (if those exist). Otherwise, support him/her to fulfill the season commitment, and provide parental support needed, if they choose to look outside the club by trying out elsewhere comes May/June.
If your kid is one of the better players on the team, have fun and enjoy watching them.
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Post by jash on Sept 28, 2014 22:27:50 GMT -5
ok, guys need advice. Our team played very well in our preseason tournaments. Since the start of athena/classic play we have completely under performed. Our coach had a certain lineup that was successful and it has been abandoned completely. the biggest problem is obvious, complete lack of possession from our back 4. So, do I sit back and watch this team fall apart, or intervene and talk to the coach? i've already had some conversations with other coaches at the club. Several folks said much of what I would have said. But I will add a few things: Over the years I've heard different groups of parents analyze many losses and rarely do they agree on the cause. Defender parents tend to blame the midfield. Midfield parents tend to blame the defenders. And everybody, at some point, blames the keeper and strikers. They're usually all wrong... this is a team sport. Second, there are some parents (again, my personal experience, not about YOU) that seem completely oblivious to the skill level of the opposing team. In their heads our players are the best, and any failure to win has to be the fault of the players and/or the coaches (or the refs, but we're not even going there). I swear there are parents that would complain about losing if we went up against Man City, claiming we just didn't work hard enough. Sometimes a better opponent can make your players look silly... that happens at all levels so why should our youth players be any different? Finally, if a team falls completely apart because it is losing, then it's not a team. If the kids are learning and developing, try not to get so caught up on wins and losses. If they lose every game and get demoted, then they can regroup against some easier opponents and try again. There are incredibly valuable lessons to be learned from losing too. Short answer: sit back and let things happen. Enjoy the good moments and let the bad ones go. |
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Post by youthsoccerdad on Sept 29, 2014 10:51:15 GMT -5
The one thing everyone has said which is true, the coach is the coach and everyone has an opinion. If you don't like the coach you should leave the club. There are a ton of other parents that would do things differently than you would and criticize your decisions if you had to make them.
That does not mean anything you are wrong, you could be completely right. We have all seen coaches favor certain kids who for some unknown reason seem to be special, play people in odd positions, and make odd tactical decisions. This not only happens from U9 to U18 it also happens with Mike Bobo almost every week with the Bulldawgs decide not to run the ball with 1st and goal against South Carolina and the Falcons horrible run defense against Minnesota. Tune in to sports talk radio.
I personally don't buy into the its okay to always lose because the outcome doesn't matter. Sure, not every game matters and this is kids sports but at some point you need to put up results. There seems to be this ridiculous fallacy that winning teams don't develop and losing teams do. To be fair the inverse is true also, some winning teams do not develop and some losing teams do a great job. Overall though I sometimes teams that don't win use it is a way to rationalize the lack of results.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 11:07:27 GMT -5
all, thanks for the great advice. I intentionally left out details to see what folks would do in my shoes. I would never over step my bounds as a parent of a child on a team. i've already spoken to our coach about the situation, and he understands 100%. no players were thrown under the bus, its a simple observation through 4 games.
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Post by jash on Sept 29, 2014 13:38:50 GMT -5
I personally don't buy into the its okay to always lose because the outcome doesn't matter. Sure, not every game matters and this is kids sports but at some point you need to put up results. There seems to be this ridiculous fallacy that winning teams don't develop and losing teams do. To be fair the inverse is true also, some winning teams do not develop and some losing teams do a great job. Overall though I sometimes teams that don't win use it is a way to rationalize the lack of results. You're right that results matter, but you should be able to tell if your kids are developing, and I personally think development trumps actual results. My kid has had many many coaches throughout his years, and we've had coaches run the full spectrum, so I've seen it all. But when coaches solely focus on winning then really bad things start happening. That is rampant throughout Georgia Soccer, and I blame it on parents more than anything. We've had terrible seasons where the kids progressed dramatically, and winning seasons where you can actually watch them regress ("just kick it long out of the back, or you might give it up to the other team"). |
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Post by youthsoccerdad on Sept 29, 2014 14:35:15 GMT -5
I personally don't buy into the its okay to always lose because the outcome doesn't matter. Sure, not every game matters and this is kids sports but at some point you need to put up results. There seems to be this ridiculous fallacy that winning teams don't develop and losing teams do. To be fair the inverse is true also, some winning teams do not develop and some losing teams do a great job. Overall though I sometimes teams that don't win use it is a way to rationalize the lack of results. You're right that results matter, but you should be able to tell if your kids are developing, and I personally think development trumps actual results. My kid has had many many coaches throughout his years, and we've had coaches run the full spectrum, so I've seen it all. But when coaches solely focus on winning then really bad things start happening. That is rampant throughout Georgia Soccer, and I blame it on parents more than anything. We've had terrible seasons where the kids progressed dramatically, and winning seasons where you can actually watch them regress ("just kick it long out of the back, or you might give it up to the other team").
Couldn't agree with you more - personal development > results. But losing does not = development. I have seen clubs that say they develop players first (isn't that what they all say) and do a poor job of it all the while claiming their lack of results is a product of focusing on development not winning. |
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Post by SoccerMom on Oct 1, 2014 14:27:17 GMT -5
ok, guys need advice. Our team played very well in our preseason tournaments. Since the start of athena/classic play we have completely under performed. Our coach had a certain lineup that was successful and it has been abandoned completely. the biggest problem is obvious, complete lack of possession from our back 4. So, do I sit back and watch this team fall apart, or intervene and talk to the coach? i've already had some conversations with other coaches at the club. Never talk to another coach about another coach, as soon as you're done they will tell the coach everything you said. I have seen parents do it and it gets back to the coach immediately. Communication is always the key, talk to the coach about your concerns about the lineup, he may have a reason why he changed it. Don't badmouth other kids...remember theyre kids, it will get back to the parents and then you will be "that" parent. Imagine how you would feel if they were talking about your kid? Seems youre playing U13 since you say its the start of Athena/classic...just a guess here. The first season is a mess, theres teams that don't belong in their brackets but the clubs requested it. Theres teams on Athena A this year that have no business being in Athena A, they won all their stuff before but now the teams that theyre competing against are too hard for them. Its going to take a while to get teams in their right levels |
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Post by stevieg on Oct 1, 2014 17:12:40 GMT -5
Some good advice here. On a lighter note, I thought Brendan Rodgers had posted this topic.  |
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Post by special1 on Oct 1, 2014 21:49:41 GMT -5
The one thing everyone has said which is true, the coach is the coach and everyone has an opinion. If you don't like the coach you should leave the club. There are a ton of other parents that would do things differently than you would and criticize your decisions if you had to make them. That does not mean anything you are wrong, you could be completely right. We have all seen coaches favor certain kids who for some unknown reason seem to be special, play people in odd positions, and make odd tactical decisions. This not only happens from U9 to U18 it also happens with Mike Bobo almost every week with the Bulldawgs decide not to run the ball with 1st and goal against South Carolina and the Falcons horrible run defense against Minnesota. Tune in to sports talk radio. I personally don't buy into the its okay to always lose because the outcome doesn't matter. Sure, not every game matters and this is kids sports but at some point you need to put up results. There seems to be this ridiculous fallacy that winning teams don't develop and losing teams do. To be fair the inverse is true also, some winning teams do not develop and some losing teams do a great job. Overall though I sometimes teams that don't win use it is a way to rationalize the lack of results.  well said, I really like your take on this! |
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well said, I really like your take on this!