Coaching “from the sidelines”

I think you should show him your coaching license and put him in his place.

I refereed a low level U13G “select” game Sunday. One GK’s dad hung out on the sideline around the top of her penalty area. He literally joystick coached his daughter continuously and would not shut his mouth. Even after she was in tears after giving up soft goals number 3, 4, 5, 6. Her team was not good but her dad made it worse. I talked with the coach about it afterward and he just shook his head.

If you stand with other parents and get wound up: get away from them. If you get wound up standing by yourself, go put gas in your car and come back.

It's usually best to keep quiet and not coach from the sidelines. Instead, wait until you're alone with your child to go over the drill, practice it together, and discuss what it's supposed to teach. The situation can vary, though. If it's a short soccer camp and you're not familiar with the coach, it might be too quick to jump in and judge their coaching style. Sometimes kids might not follow the drill properly because they're distracted or just fooling around. Other times, it might be that the coach isn't great at explaining things clearly to the kids, leading to confusion.

If kids are just being distracted, it's the coach's job to handle it, not ours. But if the problem is that the coach isn't communicating well, even though we might want to help, it's usually better to stay quiet. If this lack of clear communication continues over many sessions, because the coach uses a difficult tone or doesn't use helpful visuals, for example, then we need to think about whether this coach and program are right for our child's soccer development.

Someone earlier said if we pay them to coach let them do their job, and that is true specially if they are a good coach. However not all coaches are good at connecting with kids of different ages, so yes they have a coaching license but they are not effective and you have the right to be dissapointed with the knowledge transfer your child is receiving. And that could be the reason you feel the urge to speak up.

Lastly I know at RDS they have a strict no sideline rule, and I respect that because I think highly of their coaches and believe the players are in much better hands compared to anything I could teach them.

Let's be honest, that's not the world's greatest comparison. No one actively talks or cheers in the middle of any of those things, much less "coaches". Unlike a soccer game or most other sporting events (outside of tennis or golf, for example), those are largely silent events while the action is going on. Soccer is not that at all. If a kid on our team makes a nice pass or nice tackle, I'm likely going to yell, "Great pass!" or "Nice!". As will half a dozen other parents on the team. And that's totally normal. No one yells, "Great playing!" after a particularly difficult stretch of a piano recital that's still going on!

Look, I get what you're saying in theory. Parents shouldn't be yelling to their kids (or any players) what to do from the sideline. But let's face it- it happens, and it always will. Parents are human and humans aren't always perfect and can't always control themselves like they probably should. Some are better at it than others- maybe you're one of those that sits silently and only cheers during the break in play after your team scores a goal. And that's great, and maybe that's the way you think it should be. But that's simply not reality. Go to any other youth sporting event- football, basketball, baseball, lacrosse, hockey, etc. Parents & others are constantly yelling & cheering from the sidelines or stands. Sometimes they're shouting instructions, like "Shoot!" or "He's open!". But for some reason, it feels like soccer is the sport we've played where "coaching from the sidelines" gets the most negative attention and condemnation from those enlightened parents that would never dare to do anything of the sort. Have never been able to figure out why that is. Maybe it's because at club games parents are right there along the sidelines, rarely separated by even as much as a fence, so it's easier for players to hear parents, and also for coaches to hear them from just across the field. Maybe it's because most soccer coaches think most parents are idiots that never played or even watched soccer and could never understand the sport, so they clearly are going to tell the players the wrong thing to do or otherwise confuse them. It's probably some combination of those two.
 

Nothing wrong with saying RUN!! LOL

So true! It irks me when ppl yell “not in the middle!” Why not? If that is where the open player is then play them the ball. Ppl don’t want their kid to do it because if the pass is not accurate or the person receiving has a bad first touch it makes it easier for the team to score. So what? They are kids trying to play a game and the best decision doesn’t always work out. They do need to make decisions for themselves.

As for coaches letting a kid do the drill incorrectly 4-5 times maybe they want them to make the mistake a few times and then point out the error if the kid doesn’t fix it on their own. I just did this with my child working on her volleyball serve.

Those Premier League coaches must get so mad when the entire stadium yells at every open player approaching the 18 to "SHOOOOOOT"! Probably wants to turn around and yell to them to shut up, don't want to confuse the player- stupid sideline coaches!

(And yes, I know comparing professional players to kids playing club is an extreme exaggeration, was just funny to me that the exact scenario you decried happens 20 times a game in professional and international games and no one thinks twice about it.)

Fair enough, but those are fans yelling at older, more mature professional players. Those players have learned to handle those environments. You can’t expect most Academy kids to handle intense pressure and spectators constantly yelling what to do. They’ll get to that point eventually, but they first have to grow through experience and learn from their mistakes without parents hovering over them every step of the way. I mean, we’re talking about 8-12 year olds. This has been a hard lesson to learn for me. I played competitive soccer for many years and it frustrates me every time my kids make an errant pass or lose the ball while dribbling. Still, everything I’ve read and the coaches I have talked to say yelling when mistakes happen is not helpful. Promise.

That said, some parents are going to yell constantly. Go for it. Hope it works out for them and their kids. Have a feeling repetition, practice, and good coaching will help more, though.

I’m very grateful to everyone that replied. I will say that this situation did not occur again and I have chalked it up to that moment being an anomaly. Incredible coaching every session since. After reading these replies I’m proud to say that I have turned it all the way down on the sidelines at training and games with wonderful results. Just clapping and smiling for me. That is until we get to the training ground just him and I. Then I get to help him with technique and insight. Thank you everyone !

Maybe, every club needs to have a sign like this to "remind" everyone of the task at hand...