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Post by terimakasih12 on May 5, 2024 8:11:20 GMT -5
I recently learned that several kids on my son's academy team aren't returning next season (my kid included). This means that the struggling club will likely not field a team for his age group next season. For those of you who have been in this situation, would you (1) tell the parents of some of the better remaining players that many are leaving or (2) just keep quiet? I'd hate for 2-3 of the remaining talented kids to not have a team next season, but I'd hate for my son to face retaliation in the last games this season if someone tells the coach that I'm trying to "destroy the team". Any thoughts?
P.S.- TYSA and Inter should have 3-4 new, talented kids trying out in a few weeks.
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Post by bogan on May 5, 2024 8:20:55 GMT -5
I recently learned that several kids on my son's academy team aren't returning next season (my kid included). This means that the struggling club will likely not field a team for his age group next season. For those of you who have been in this situation, would you (1) tell the parents of some of the better remaining players that many are leaving or (2) just keep quiet? I'd hate for 2-3 of the remaining talented kids to not have a team next season, but I'd hate for my son to face retaliation in the last games this season if someone tells the coach that I'm trying to "destroy the team". Any thoughts? P.S.- TYSA and Inter should have 3-4 new, talented kids trying out in a few weeks. We were in this situation-my son ended up playing up a year. This didn’t go well so we ultimately left and had to drive a long way for another club. As far as telling people, it’s always tricky. We just told people our plans when asked….otherwise we remained quiet. I didn’t feel like it was my place. There was also other drama going on that we didn’t want to be a part of…hope this helps. |
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on May 5, 2024 9:17:13 GMT -5
First off, never lie or overtly announce. One group will label you a liar, while another group will lay the "breakdown" of the team at your feet. If asked about your plans, just tell them and leave it at that. If the loss of a few players threatens the ability to field a team, then you definitely need to move on. You're job is to pay your dues, put your kid in the best situation and shouldn't be about worrying if your kid will have a full team to play on, next season...
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Post by newguy on May 5, 2024 9:25:12 GMT -5
There should be at least a week between the last game and tryouts you and the other parents leaving can use to let anyone who asks know where you will be on night one.
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darp
Jr. Academy
Posts: 48
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Post by darp on May 5, 2024 9:35:05 GMT -5
Happened to my kid. Most of the parents were pretty unhappy though, so it was always an open conversation. We all signed up for the new club's tryouts during the old clubs last practice.
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Post by Keeper on May 5, 2024 11:49:16 GMT -5
Have your son tell his teammates quietly and not at the fields that he’s not coming back or he’s going to “xyz club”. Then if parents ask you you can be honest and he can get some closure by saying goodbye to his teammates too.
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Post by oraclesfriend on May 5, 2024 14:53:32 GMT -5
Most good clubs will either let those kids know themselves, make a team in their age group anyways by using better kids in the younger age group and just keep pulling up from below as needed, or take the kids and put them up to the next higher age group.
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Post by terimakasih12 on May 5, 2024 16:02:25 GMT -5
Most good clubs will either let those kids know themselves, make a team in their age group anyways by using better kids in the younger age group and just keep pulling up from below as needed, or take the kids and put them up to the next higher age group. Good points. Not sure the club has the numbers to pull from below but I guess they could play up. Unfortunately, some parents won’t become aware of the situation until after tryouts, leaving them with few options. Feels like I’m watching the club die. |
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Post by newguy on May 5, 2024 16:12:46 GMT -5
Most good clubs will either let those kids know themselves, make a team in their age group anyways by using better kids in the younger age group and just keep pulling up from below as needed, or take the kids and put them up to the next higher age group. Good points. Not sure the club has the numbers to pull from below but I guess they could play up. Unfortunately, some parents won’t become aware of the situation until after tryouts, leaving them with few options. Feels like I’m watching the club die. Won’t they realize is the first night of tryouts when half the kids they know aren’t there? |
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Post by terimakasih12 on May 5, 2024 16:28:29 GMT -5
Good points. Not sure the club has the numbers to pull from below but I guess they could play up. Unfortunately, some parents won’t become aware of the situation until after tryouts, leaving them with few options. Feels like I’m watching the club die. Won’t they realize is the first night of tryouts when half the kids they know aren’t there? Yes. Then they’ll ping me and ask why I didn’t tell them earlier so they could plan their week around trying out at a different club.😀 |
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Post by soccerlegacy on May 5, 2024 17:30:13 GMT -5
Won’t they realize is the first night of tryouts when half the kids they know aren’t there? Yes. Then they’ll ping me and ask why I didn’t tell them earlier so they could plan their week around trying out at a different club.😀 If you are close with any of these parents, you can simply ask what THEIR plans are for next year, and then they might follow suit by asking the same question back to you. Once, they ask, you can be honest and tell them you are most likely going to be looking at another club. Basically, start a conversation about the upcoming season, and see if it leads to inquisitive questions. This allows you to be upfront with them, so when they call you the first night of tryouts, you can be like "I told you would might not be there". It also gives them some nudge to look a little closer at what they might not be considering or oblivious to, and maybe consider changing themselves. If they don't, that's on them. |
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Post by oraclesfriend on May 5, 2024 17:50:55 GMT -5
Yes. Then they’ll ping me and ask why I didn’t tell them earlier so they could plan their week around trying out at a different club.😀 If you are close with any of these parents, you can simply ask what THEIR plans are for next year, and then they might follow suit by asking the same question back to you. Once, they ask, you can be honest and tell them you are most likely going to be looking at another club. Basically, start a conversation about the upcoming season, and see if it leads to inquisitive questions. This allows you to be upfront with them, so when they call you the first night of tryouts, you can be like "I told you would might not be there". It also gives them some nudge to look a little closer at what they might not be considering or oblivious to, and maybe consider changing themselves. If they don't, that's on them. This is great advice if you feel the club is not going to realize the problem themselves or tell the players. Just don’t do it to everyone because then it becomes obvious what you are doing. Unfortunately this happens from time to time. |
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Post by newguy on May 5, 2024 19:23:10 GMT -5
If you are close with any of these parents, you can simply ask what THEIR plans are for next year, and then they might follow suit by asking the same question back to you. Once, they ask, you can be honest and tell them you are most likely going to be looking at another club. Basically, start a conversation about the upcoming season, and see if it leads to inquisitive questions. This allows you to be upfront with them, so when they call you the first night of tryouts, you can be like "I told you would might not be there". It also gives them some nudge to look a little closer at what they might not be considering or oblivious to, and maybe consider changing themselves. If they don't, that's on them. This is great advice if you feel the club is not going to realize the problem themselves or tell the players. Just don’t do it to everyone because then it becomes obvious what you are doing. Unfortunately this happens from time to time. Which is why your kid asks the question of what their friends are doing to those they want to move with them. Then the parents finish the conversation. |
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Post by rifle on May 5, 2024 21:55:42 GMT -5
Nothing good will come from scheming with a handful of the best players at a small club - to move clubs together. Every kid “cuts their own deal” at tryouts. Look out for your own and that’s enough. Scheming will lead to unnecessary hard feelings.
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Post by Futsal Gawdess on May 6, 2024 10:15:14 GMT -5
Nothing good will come from scheming with a handful of the best players at a small club - to move clubs together. Every kid “cuts their own deal” at tryouts. Look out for your own and that’s enough. Scheming will lead to unnecessary hard feelings. As harsh as it may sound, I completely agree. This is like leaving a job/gig for another and keeping it hush hush till you pull the trigger. As usual there is always the exception. Those parents/families that you do youth soccer with. You know, the ones you actually like to hang out with, outside of just soccer... |
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Post by terimakasih12 on May 6, 2024 12:07:37 GMT -5
Thanks for the input, everyone. Agree that scheming will go nowhere. Likely going to keep fairly quiet and only discuss plans if asked.
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chef
Jr. Academy
Posts: 10
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Post by chef on May 6, 2024 15:00:04 GMT -5
I recently learned that several kids on my son's academy team aren't returning next season (my kid included). This means that the struggling club will likely not field a team for his age group next season. For those of you who have been in this situation, would you (1) tell the parents of some of the better remaining players that many are leaving or (2) just keep quiet? I'd hate for 2-3 of the remaining talented kids to not have a team next season, but I'd hate for my son to face retaliation in the last games this season if someone tells the coach that I'm trying to "destroy the team". Any thoughts? P.S.- TYSA and Inter should have 3-4 new, talented kids trying out in a few weeks. My experience is that a lot of people say they are not returning, when maybe they are. Don't speak on what anyone else is doing. |
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Post by lajolla39 on May 8, 2024 11:37:50 GMT -5
Nothing good will come from scheming with a handful of the best players at a small club - to move clubs together. Every kid “cuts their own deal” at tryouts. Look out for your own and that’s enough. Scheming will lead to unnecessary hard feelings. I highly recommend not playing the "package deal" card with a group of players/parents when going to a new club. Every time I've seen this happen it ended up blowing up in spectacular fashion. Either the parent group will go against each other over time. Or the new coach will bench players in the package deal they dont want, until they quit. Parents grouping up to control the team (choosing to not go to travel events as a group, only inviting their group to social events, etc) takes power away from coaches and makes them less effective. What parents usually don't understand is that coaches might not be able to control short term issues grouped up parents/players create. However they've got an entire year to grind on group and eventually the coach will have something people want which forces parents to come to the coach. - Talent ID is coming up? - Minutes at throwaway games? - Travel game and you have more than 18? Who sits or doesn't go? - Tryouts coming up? - Who gets scholarship (less cost to play)? - Showcase coming up? - Planning to take vacation and not practice? - Want a certain number on your jersey? - Don't want to play Defense? - Ect... |
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Post by soccerlegacy on May 8, 2024 12:43:05 GMT -5
Nothing good will come from scheming with a handful of the best players at a small club - to move clubs together. Every kid “cuts their own deal” at tryouts. Look out for your own and that’s enough. Scheming will lead to unnecessary hard feelings. I highly recommend not playing the "package deal" card with a group of players/parents when going to a new club. Every time I've seen this happen it ended up blowing up in spectacular fashion. Either the parent group will go against each other over time. Or the new coach will bench players in the package deal they dont want, until they quit. Parents grouping up to control the team (choosing to not go to travel events as a group, only inviting their group to social events, etc) takes power away from coaches and makes them less effective. What parents usually don't understand is that coaches might not be able to control short term issues grouped up parents/players create. However they've got an entire year to grind on group and eventually the coach will have something people want which forces parents to come to the coach. - Talent ID is coming up? - Minutes at throwaway games? - Travel game and you have more than 18? Who sits or doesn't go? - Tryouts coming up? - Who gets scholarship (less cost to play)? - Showcase coming up? - Planning to take vacation and not practice? - Want a certain number on your jersey? - Don't want to play Defense? - Ect... Well said and I have to agree. I have seen these things take place as well. It can make for a toxic environment for the team, the parents and the coaches. Parents grouping up rarely goes as they planned and then a few start complaining because what they envisioned isn't at all what comes out of it. Much has to do with rose colored glasses about their kid. I think rifle and Futsal Goddess summed it up best by stating that you should make your decision based on what is best for your player and each kid cuts is own deal with the coach. The others riding the coattails of the "better" players could wind up being frustrated and can cause alot of damage to the team internally. |
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Post by terimakasih12 on May 8, 2024 13:25:17 GMT -5
I highly recommend not playing the "package deal" card with a group of players/parents when going to a new club. Every time I've seen this happen it ended up blowing up in spectacular fashion. Either the parent group will go against each other over time. Or the new coach will bench players in the package deal they dont want, until they quit. Parents grouping up to control the team (choosing to not go to travel events as a group, only inviting their group to social events, etc) takes power away from coaches and makes them less effective. What parents usually don't understand is that coaches might not be able to control short term issues grouped up parents/players create. However they've got an entire year to grind on group and eventually the coach will have something people want which forces parents to come to the coach. - Talent ID is coming up? - Minutes at throwaway games? - Travel game and you have more than 18? Who sits or doesn't go? - Tryouts coming up? - Who gets scholarship (less cost to play)? - Showcase coming up? - Planning to take vacation and not practice? - Want a certain number on your jersey? - Don't want to play Defense? - Ect... Well said and I have to agree. I have seen these things take place as well. It can make for a toxic environment for the team, the parents and the coaches. Parents grouping up rarely goes as they planned and then a few start complaining because what they envisioned isn't at all what comes out of it. Much has to do with rose colored glasses about their kid. I think rifle and Futsal Goddess summed it up best by stating that you should make your decision based on what is best for your player and each kid cuts is own deal with the coach. The others riding the coattails of the "better" players could wind up being frustrated and can cause alot of damage to the team internally. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Definitely agree. No packaged deals happening here. I’ve also seen that go bad quickly. |
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Post by beatupthegaffer on May 21, 2024 19:34:46 GMT -5
I recently learned that several kids on my son's academy team aren't returning next season (my kid included). This means that the struggling club will likely not field a team for his age group next season. For those of you who have been in this situation, would you (1) tell the parents of some of the better remaining players that many are leaving or (2) just keep quiet? I'd hate for 2-3 of the remaining talented kids to not have a team next season, but I'd hate for my son to face retaliation in the last games this season if someone tells the coach that I'm trying to "destroy the team". Any thoughts? P.S.- TYSA and Inter should have 3-4 new, talented kids trying out in a few weeks. "Never let them know your next move..." If asked by people you know and trust, respond with "we are working through a few options to place our player in the best situation possible for his joy, growth, and development. We haven't made a firm decision or ruled anything out yet" As was stated earlier, dont lie but dont announce |
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