To All the Refs

My experience is that so many refs quit because:

1. The parents think they are actually playing in the game, or at least that their participation on the sidelines is an integral part of the game.
2. The parents think they are coaches themselves, or really should be coaches if everyone would just listen to their brilliant commentary.
3. The parents think they have decades of actual experience playing the game, superior understanding of the flow of the game, intimate knowledge of the rules of the game. So their EGOS take over and take the game away from the kids, coaches and refs.

I am a ref and my kids play competitive. Here are my observations. These organization needs to do better in not setting up these kids(refs/AR) to fail. We need more mentor involvement, continue ref education and reviews. You can not have an inexperience young kid center ref a highly competitive game. It will get out of hand. I have seen this too much. It is not good for the young ref. They will eventually quit. Keep them as AR longer to learn. Even some AR need more education.
I saw this yesterday on a competitive game.

In my opinion, two things need to happen to make :

1) The clubs should really have a supervisor on site at the parks to manage non-participants in games and assist referees. In college during the off-season, I worked as a intramural sports supervisor. If spectators or players got out of hand and the referee was unable to handle it, the supervisor would step in and address the situation. They also gave inexperienced referees immediate feedback after games or between periods. It increased the skill of new refs and also gave them the confidence that spectators/coaches were not going to get out of hand or try to intimidate them. It allowed referees to concentrate on the game and not worry about non-game aspects.

2) I also would like to see parents sit on opposite sides of the field. I think this would negate the back and forth you see sometimes between parents of opposing teams. Some parents get amped up with just people cheering for their kid's team. And it goes to another level during a controversial play or rough play. It would also lessen some of the sideline coaching by parents (not all, but some) if they had to sit on the same side as the team and coach. Obviously, coaches would be against this since they may have to put up with or take action with overzealous parents yelling at referees and kids, but I think it should part of their job as leader of the team.

3) Parents also need to step up. If you see a parent on your team get out of hand with a referee/player/another parent/coach, speak up. You don't have to be confrontational, but parents also need to police themselves.

The main problem is that Club soccer is a very entitled class.

I think every team should be required to have three parents register to referee and stick with it. Clubs could incentivize this in many ways (reduced fees, class fees, uniforms, etc). Trouble is, the entitled class would just offer to pay extra to make this requirement go away.

If you have such a good understanding of how to do the job, you should go ahead and do it yourself and recruit your friends too.

Hey! I’ve paid thousands of dollars! I can yell at a teenager every now and then, right?

I agree that if clubs want better referees, they need to invest more resources in referee development. More people would want to referee/continue refereeing if they got paid more and received more support from referee mentors, etc. Fixing the culture of referee abuse will help too. Many referees who have the potential to be pretty good after they get a little experience, quit before they get that experience because they are yelled at and criticized so much.

But I do also think that coaches and parents and players need to temper their referee expectations a little though. Some coaches and parents and players expect Premier League level referees for very mediocre level games.

My son played in the UFA Extreme Cup this weekend and I have to say I was impressed with how UFA did with Refs. We were "lucky" and he got to play at 3 different locations. But at each of those locations on each field there seemed to be a good mix of more Sr. refs working with younger Jr. refs. I also liked how the younger refs got to Center some of the games they were not just an AR. The 3 refs were working as a team throughout the games, it wasn't just AR's calling the line. I thought the refs did a great job all weekend. I'm not sure if it was by plan, dumb luck, or necessity, but UFA seems to be doing a good job of developing refs.

Sunday League is what is great and horrible about footie for sure 😂😂😂

As others have said, if you feel like refereeing needs to be better by all means go and get your certification and start refereeing.  I did it, so many other people I know have done it.  It is rewarding and fun a lot of times.  Remember though, you are going to need thick skin to referee something both my son and I have, but many teenagers and some adults do not have that.

I have no issues kicking a parent from the sideline if they are yelling at me or my AR all game, and I have done so on many occasion. I realize teenagers may be more hesitant to do that, but on big games our assignor usually has at least one adult on a game if there are teenagers refereeing.

The issue with getting "the best" referees that club has for Academy level and/or recreation level games at 7v7 and 9v9 type game environments is that the pay is subpar (at least at my club and most around) for adults or older experienced teenage referees to referee them.  My assignor knows I do not want to be assigned any 7v7 games and most of the time most 9v9 (unless it is a tournament or academy) and then I need to be center even if I do a 9v9 because the ARs get paid peanuts (U9/U10 AR is like $10-13 rec/academy, U11/U12 AR is like $15-18 rec/academy).  It is just not worth for me as an adult to AR those types of games and honestly it isn't worth it to center them either.  Its also a waste of their skill if there are other 11v11 or high level games being played at the same time as those smaller sided games.  So you are going to get younger more inexperienced referees at the U9-U12 level even for academy.   No assignor is going to find enough adults or more experienced referees to do those type of games.  They just aren't.  They are not abundant enough to get that so you are living in unicorn fairy land if you think that will ever happen.

As far as 11v11 games go, recreation games you are not going to get the same caliber and skilled referee as you are for an 11v11 SCCL, ECNL, NAL, NPL, etc... referee unless there are just none of those other games going on during that time and that is all that is available for that referee.  Given how many venues there are, most good referees can pick and choose what they want to referee and it can be all high level ones.  That's how much of a shortage there is.  Frankly my son and I could go pick high level games every weekend and make a lot more than we do now, but we are loyal to our main assignor and help him out even if sometimes there are a couple of lower level games not paying as well. 

So you get to the point where assignors sometimes are forced to put more inexperienced referees that are willing to actually center in U9-U12 games because they have no other availability or choice.  There is only so much mentoring the assignor can do and honestly if you look at their job description that isn't really even their job even though most do mentor some. 

What I would like to see is that clubs pay these more experienced referees (like myself and my son) money to mentor games even if that requires us to AR or center small sided games where we can evaluate and mentor the younger referees we are working with to get them better.  So instead of that pay structure I said above pay the "mentors" an extra $15-20 a game to referee with that new inexperienced referee and mentor them into becoming better referees themselves.  Right now I mentor as much as I can, but if you aren't paying me I have too much stuff going on with family and life to just be at the field not getting paid to help out a club that I paid thousands to for my kids to play for them to sit there in my free time mentoring for free.

My kid's team played in a showcase the weekend of May 11-12, where like what you said, there was nothing really "on the line" (older age group, only spring tourney we will play, not the highest level, etc.). However, in our Sunday game- on Mother's Day!- that didn't stop 3 different dads from the opposing team from being thrown off the field by the center ref! Thankfully our parents weren't saying anything- which isn't always the case!- because like I said, it's not like it really mattered that much, and certainly wasn't a game worth getting worked up over. Wasn't overly physical, players weren't getting hurt in hard challenges left & right, etc. But that didn't stop some of the other team's parents from chirping. I will say that a little of the blame for what happened probably fell on the ref himself. He was a good ref, very communicative with the players about what he was seeing on the field, and friendly about it. But he was also engaging with the parents on the other team early & often whenever they would make any comments/questions/complaints, even if they were fairly benign. And since it was so quiet on the sidelines, relatively speaking, if someone did speak up more loudly, it really stood out. And he did warn the parents on the other team to quiet down or he would ask them to leave. And at the next loud comment, he did, with the offending dad complaining loudly the entire way off. The ref then had the coach come over to ask the parents to pipe down, but one dad soon after couldn't help himself, and this guy actually deserved to be sent packing, as he yelled, "That was a shizat call!" after a shoulder-to-shoulder challenge that he thought should have been a foul but wasn't called (and shouldn't have been). Cussing loudly like that will always get you tossed, so that was Dad #2 gone. The third one actually happened after the game, as when the ref blew the final whistle, one day stood up and yelled, "I'm glad the game is over, so I can tell you what a shizatty job you did!". The ref immediately called the coach over to talk to the dad, and I guess he wasn't technically ejected since the game was over, but still, it was a low class move, and hopefully the coach let all the parents know about it.

That's the thing- I've been guilty of yelling at refs at times over the years, just like most of us have on this board if we're being honest. Especially when player safety is involved. But I've toned it back a lot over the years because I realized a few things: 1) it's rarely going to help, and might even hurt the team for the rest of the game; 2) it's a low class thing to do, and sets a terrible example for the players; and 3) my kids are usually embarrassed as hell when they hear me yell at the refs! My kid said the players on the other team were so mad & embarrassed at what their parents were doing, and these are older teens who probably already think their parents are "cringe" anyway! It's just not something I need to be spending energy on anymore, and honestly I wish I had learned that lesson much earlier in my soccer parent days.

Pay is too low unless you are doing high level/older age groups. Recertifying every year is a money grab. Expectation of too much gear. Can't always get enough games to justify the drive time. If you get enough games it will probably be 90 degrees on turf that day. Old ref system was archaic 1994 website.

I have multiple kids certified, none have refed this spring, I doubt any will renew their certification.

I’ve refereed since fall 2018. I don’t do HS games. I have worked a LOT of adult games but a great majority of those as AR. I just started centering adult women’s games this spring, after 5 years. Despite being 53 and 6’-5”, I don’t feel ready to do a men’s center. It doesn’t look enjoyable at all. But I hope to get there eventually.
Edit: I played the game since I was 7

I am a good AR but definitely need to improve on foul spotting. When in doubt, as a center I tend to “let them play through it”. I learn more every week.

Now imagine how a kid just starting out would feel.

I don’t do it for the money - I do it because I love the game and it needs me.

Join me.

I know that is going to be a long game when the center Ref doesn't like to stay close to the players that are dribbling/disputing the ball, we have had some Refs that stay within 10 yards of the center of the field, and from there they try to call any play (from that distance is a 50/50 call, specially when they play happens 30 yards away), obviously the parents or coaches closer to the play see what happen and start antagonizing the ref calls. Even more, experienced ("smart") players knowing that the Ref is that far would get extra physical, and from there it becomes a snowball effect, coaches and parents start complaining to the ref and eventually to each other.

The best Ref that we have had is a guy in his 30s, at Franklin Gateway fields. At the beginning of the game, he chatted with parents of both teams, he said something like "I will not tolerate any complain, this is for your kids to have fun! Let them play and enjoy!". There were a couple of players that went extra physical, this Ref called a foul and let them know that he was watching them "another play like that and you get a yellow card!". He was always close to the plays, asking the ARs if they have seen something different on calls he had doubts. At the end, my wife and I congratulated him, best Ref since my kid has played select soccer, I wish I can remember his name.