Odious Parents

It would be calm for a game or two but then those obnoxious parents would go back to doing what they do best. It's like they can't help themselves! It's like they automatically see a 13 year old out there and assume they know more than them because of their age, never mind the fact that my kid did the training, spent a full day at a training facility practicing that book training on the field and testing in a classroom as well as not only being around the sport for 10 years but actively learning about and participating in said sport? I'd say she knows a bunch more than many (not all) of these crazy parents. I know she knows more than me!

I think if parents are truly obnoxious, the refs should tell the coaches to do something about it. If nothing is done, the ref should eject the parents. I've heard of some refs coming over and talking to the parents beforehand, telling them what he or she expects from them and what will not be tolerated. I think that is a good idea. Some amount of groaning is to be expected but I see too many parents taking the games way, way, way too seriously. At the end of the day, this is just youth soccer.

Referees of all ages and experience levels are specifically instructed to never interact with parents. For a referee to tell the parents beforehand what he or she will tolerate can lead to calamitous results --- usually due to the fact that the referee sets expectations and the first time in the game that those expectations on behavior are not met and then not punished, all credibility is lost. It then goes downhill from there.

Remember that the parents are technically not part of the game. According to the Laws of the Game, they have no role and are therefore not part of the referees direct jurisdiction. Further, Georgia Soccer Youth Rules and Regulations specifically addresses the issue by instructing the referee to speak to the coach about spectator issue and direct the coach to control the parents. If the coach refuses to do so, the referee is within his/her rights to refuse to officiate any longer and terminate the game.

Think about it people, why would you want a frustrated referee to approach an irate or agitated parent? Some good might occasionally come of it, but far more often you're asking that the referee put himself/herself directly in the line of fire.

In 20 years of being around parents and coaches and referees at soccer games, I've seen it all. You cannot legislate good behavior. The only thing I've seen that consistently works is when the state association or the league or the coach or even the other parents demand good behavior and have repercussions in place when it doesn't happen.

Why don't you like that one sentence? Do you think that the leagues or the state association should not hold parents and coaches to a standard of good behavior?

I believe he meant he agrees with it all and not just that one sentence

I'm not calling you out here... this is a very common way of thinking that we're all guilty of (including me).

People often think a ref cost them a game because they focus in on one play.  That one play where they called offside but you're absolutely sure it wasn't, and the goal was called back.  But the game is so much more than one or two plays -- yes, even a questionable penalty or missed penalty call.  Because very few people have the intellectual honesty to truly see the game from both sides (myself included) and remember the calls that went for you that were questionable to the other team.  Does it happen that a bad call can truly impact the outcome of a game?  If you boil the whole game down to that one moment, then yes.  But even that is pretty rare, if we're being 100% unbiased ourselves.

Refs are assessed by professionals, though I admit I don't know how often.  Perhaps it should be done more.  Perhaps there should be more rigorous and frequent training.  But until we start paying the refs more you can't expect them to pay for much more themselves. And when you have games where there literally aren't enough referees (it's starting to happen to everyone) you have to also question whether our standards might just be a bit high.  There are also procedures in place for coaches AND parents to formally complain about a referee, but the only times I've seen someone use it I thought it started to seem pretty petty in hindsight.

But I wonder how many soccer parents, who are also sideline experts, have ever tried to ref even a friendly game? For the $22 or so each ref earns in a game, which isn't far above minimum wage, do you really expect perfection and calls that could stand up to video review? Even professional referees get calls wrong. The new refs (kids mostly) get shouted at, insulted, threatened, and quit after a few seasons; so its no wonder there is a shortage of experienced referees here.
I've had Coaching experiences with some old or slow refs who stand in the center, and some refs who call too many or too few fouls, but never had one who was blatantly biased against one team. You get the Ref you get, so deal with it - it's only a game.

OK - this is ridiculous - please define 'bad call" - are you talking about missing a throw in, a foul, an offside? Seriously - give me one example of where a referee's blatant bad call cost a team the game? Even a direct PK for a foul in the box that goes in is ultimately the 'fault' of the goalie who missed it - there was a 50-50 chance of saving that PK - or if the kicker overshoots - again - the 'fault' would lie with that play not the fact it was made - again -50-50 chance that goal hits the back of the net. Ever consider the fact that a team may have lost a game because the other team was better and not blame every single loss on the referee? Or are your teams just 'THAT GOOD' and should never lose. Gosh, that must be such a wonderful rainbow filled little existence you are living in there (gag).

This drivel about referees who are just there to collect a paycheck is BS. They are hardly 'high paid' and based on the abuse heaped on my kid when she was AR and some of the incidents Jack has brought up in this very thread - parents are the issue not your perception of any bad referees.

I've seen truly biased referees two times in the seven years my kid has played Academy and Select - both at clubs way outside metro Atlanta so of course they're more 'home grown' than if a NASA parent or player is refereeing an SSA game on their field. But frankly, no referee is going to spend more in gas to drive 40 miles to ref a game than they'll make for working the games so you just have to hope you get a ref that will do the game fairly.

But 'fair' is the perception of which team's parents are watching the game. When I see a referee call a foul on our player for a push from behind but not call that same play on the other team's player, my perception could well be that that it's a biased referee - but the truth is, no referee can see every play at every time. An AR can approach the center and inform him or her of any fouls they see; any player on the field can politely ask the center to please watch number such and such as that player is pushing or fouling after the play. But a parent shrieking from the sidelines that a ref sucks or is missing every call is stupid, arrogant and ignorant. Trust me, you parents don't know every rule of this game and every referee has going through the classes and observations to learn what they need to know. When players become referees, they understand the game even better - as players and as referees. And it's a damn shame that arrogant parents who prefer to whine that a referee cost them their game are running the young referees away from working.

My kid has thick skin - she's got no problem telling a parent to zip it - she had one ejected from the NASA Boys tournament for swearing - but she just got sick of the stupidity and arrogance of parents on the sidelines assuming she knew nothing and was only there to collect the whopping $15 she can earn at her age. She has not refereed since August and even on weekends when she could have and the clubs were begging for referees, she refused. Now that she's injured, it's not even a factor - but over half the girls she got certified with last year are not returning to get re-certified. And that is 110% on all you parents who yell at them, make stupid remarks and otherwise annoy the snot out of my kid and her peers with this BS perception that you are 'consumers' and therefore entitled to insert yourselves in the management of your clubs, teams and referee's calls. This is youth sports - not some roofing service you're paying for - get over yourself and let your kid play the darn game.

As for the constant griping about referees, there are classes available almost every month and I strongly suggest you take one, get certified and make the referees in Georgia better since you apparently think they all suck right now! If you're not willing to do that - sit down, shut up, and let your kid play a game without your constant excuses that other players or the referees were the reason he or she may have lost a game.

Finally, if at any point in your child's life, he or she decides to become a referee here in Georgia, I hope and pray they are never subjected to the animosity and arrogance I've seen in this thread and on the field. No child deserves that crap!

Megaclub U9 "top team" matches demand a grade 5 or better crew.

A co-worker of mine is a long time GA referee and currently a state referee assessor.. So it is a topic that gets discussed occasionally (off the soccer sideline) and the "grade" levels are vaguely familiar as a result.

I will confirm that I was kidding.