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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 16, 2014 19:11:32 GMT -5
Can you sit out the second half of the season until the fall without any penalties ?
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Post by rifle on Nov 16, 2014 19:24:36 GMT -5
What's the rest of the question? Is this due to injury, money, unhappy with something? Need more context..
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Post by spectator on Nov 16, 2014 19:24:52 GMT -5
Why would you?
Do you plan to return to the same team/club?
What are your reasons - injury, grades - legitimate reasons - unhappy with coach/team - just ask for the release and go.
Certainly you "can" quit - but what do you want to accomplish - or teach your player - by doing it?
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Post by Soccerhouse on Nov 16, 2014 19:51:34 GMT -5
Would request a transfer and try to play elsewhere vs sitting out an entire season.
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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 16, 2014 20:04:06 GMT -5
Will give transferring a shot but REALLY don't think they'll go for it .
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Post by rifle on Nov 16, 2014 20:11:36 GMT -5
Good luck. Sorry that you are in this situation, and willing to skip the spring season just to get out of it. That's not good for anyone.
So long as all fees are paid, I believe you are free to go wherever you want for tryouts leading into next year.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Nov 16, 2014 20:13:49 GMT -5
Usually if your paid in full they will let ya go with no problems.
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Post by spectator on Nov 16, 2014 20:35:36 GMT -5
Unhappy with club and won't be returning I have an issue with this reasoning - you aren't happy with the club you chose, your kid tried out at and made a team - took a spot from someone who didn't make that team - and now, you're unhappy and want to leave that team - the obligation you agreed to for one year? Fees paid or not - essentially you are in 'breach of contract' by not honoring that obligation. I 'get' that you want to move on - been there done that. We suffered through the worst season ever at U13 and pretty much knew we'd be leaving at U14 but no way in hell was I going to be the example to my kid that when the going gets tough or mama gets unhappy with a choice, we walk away - and leave a team. TEAM! You will be letting down a group of kids for the spring season - that's not right. Even if your one player on a roster stacked full of 18 leaves, it's still leaving them down a man and if they get injuries in the spring, ultimately hurting the team. That's not the lesson to teach your own kid - even if it's your own kid saying he or she wants to quit. You and your player agreed you'd be there for a year and it's only ethical that you honor that agreement. There is nothing stopping you from scheduling private lessons with coaches at the club you want to move to; for entering your player as a guest in tournaments your current team isn't playing in, nothing stopping you at all from 'shopping' around but don't let down a group of kids who did nothing wrong. Assuming there's no other reasoning like abusive coach, dangerous practices or psychotic parents in this mix -just you not liking your choice? Not blasting you - I completely understand - but I don't think walking away mid season just because you are unhappy with the club is the right thing or the best lesson to your kid now or later in life! |
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Post by sidelinemama on Nov 16, 2014 21:19:31 GMT -5
Depends on the club as to whether they will let you transfer or not. I will tell you that we were in a situation with players who left for other clubs and it destroyed our team. We were really left with low numbers and it definitely hurt morale. They left for selfish reasons because they weren't "challenged" enough with our team, and I don't think it sent the right message to the child that left. I tend to agree with the yearly commitment for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we make our bed and the best thing we can teach our kid is to lie in it.
Of course, every situation if different, but I wanted to share the other side of the story with you since we have experienced it.
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Post by special1 on Nov 16, 2014 21:50:00 GMT -5
I think you should just stick it out till season is over at least. Why waste money you already paid for it or why let the kid sit out 4-6months or reasons spectator mentioned.....Think about it. I know its probably tough, but did you try addressing issues with the coach or club management? Is this your first year there?
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Post by special1 on Nov 16, 2014 22:19:32 GMT -5
Some coaches won't ever see it from a parent point of view and wont take time to explain things or what their doing either, they would rather side step your question or swat it away as though you dont get it, just stuck in 'my way' mentality and I hate that too. I'm glad you are considering to stay through the end though. Another thing to consider is maybe as a first year member, you are not patient enough with the coaching style and things may get better.....but I do understand that with some of these club fees being so high, we need to ask more questions and get better training.
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Post by youthsoccerdad on Nov 16, 2014 22:34:43 GMT -5
I don't know your child's circumstance - but if it is related to training, winning, coach doesn't like him, not playing your favorite position then I would have your child stick it out if possible. I have told my son that the only thing you can control is what you do and how you respond to a situation. If you have a boss or coach that isn't your biggest fan the only thing you can do is put your head down, work hard, try to improve, and say yes sir.
If the coach is a bully, over the top demeaning, not letting your kid play, etc. then do what you got to do. Translated to the real world, I would find a new job in those circumstances.
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Post by SoccerMom on Nov 17, 2014 8:06:14 GMT -5
Yes 1st year there and spoke to the coach a couple times and can never get a honest answer .May just chalk it up as a lesson learned and finish up Have you talked to your club director? seems the coach is giving you the runaround. Not sure what the circumstances are, but I would def at least finish out the fall season. What does your kid want to do? |
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Post by fidosoccer on Nov 17, 2014 10:25:30 GMT -5
I would stick it out. His situation sounds like a good life lesson on overcoming adversity.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Nov 17, 2014 10:36:20 GMT -5
no club is perfect and no coach is. if you can stick it out stick it out, and move after the spring.
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Post by Keeper on Nov 17, 2014 10:38:46 GMT -5
What age group is this? Academy or Classic/Athena?
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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 17, 2014 10:43:22 GMT -5
I would stick it out. His situation sounds like a good life lesson on overcoming adversity. I was thinking the same thing ! |
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Post by soccerguru on Nov 17, 2014 22:55:28 GMT -5
You need to do what's in the best interest of your kid! Not what you believe is in the best interest of the team. There is a short window for excellent training and soccer growth. Staying on a team that does not provide the proper guidance, in regards to soccer development and player development, or is abusive and detrimental to the kid and his family. Life is too short and the window is closing fast, do what is best for your kid. The club never has your kids best interest in mind, it's only the club.
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Post by mamampira on Nov 18, 2014 7:41:28 GMT -5
Something in soccerguru's post above resonated. What exactly...If I were to put a finger on it, it is the frequency that vibrates throughout the message - our children, who are good at learning, are only looking for the best opportunities and environments within which to thrive. The measure of success of each kid can be attributable to a number of variables, most superior is a parent's instinct, I believe. Sticking it out for a season already paid may to some be a good way to learn about adversity. However, life will present so many opportunities to learn about adversity. The bottom line is that soccer should be fun for the kid, not work. Once the kid loses the passion and interest, it is over. Some coaches do not know how to communicate. There is the hot and cold factor. You yell, then you encourage. I am sure the kid will tolerate the yelling more so, if he gets a word of encouragement here and there. Another thing, the coach is catering to recruits on behalf of the DOC or the club. I know first hand of at least five players (mine included) that received inequitable treatment from a coach and when they left, their game immediately improved. I have seen first hand a coach favor a recruit, who eventually left the club....Bottom line...if your son is unhappy and wants to leave, fine. Put him in an indoor/training session/pick up games in the Spring. If he can hack the adversity and unfairness, kudos to him too....
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Post by Strikermom on Nov 18, 2014 8:34:41 GMT -5
If your child is high school age, can he/she play for his team in the spring?? There is no 15-19 teams anyway. When it is not fun anymore it may be time for a change. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 18, 2014 9:30:47 GMT -5
Hes U13
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Post by SoccerMom on Nov 18, 2014 9:39:06 GMT -5
You need to talk to DOC, maybe theres another team he can change to within the club? if your child is miserable he wont want to play for too long. I understand about sticking it out...but even with a job, if it sucks you find something better.
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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 18, 2014 9:53:46 GMT -5
You need to talk to DOC, maybe theres another team he can change to within the club? if your child is miserable he wont want to play for too long. I understand about sticking it out...but even with a job, if it sucks you find something better. Ok. The last thing i want to do is ruin him . |
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Post by SoccerMom on Nov 18, 2014 9:59:45 GMT -5
Exactly! Im not sure what club youre with, but theres people in this forum from every club and Im sure they can help you find the right person to talk to if you dont know who to go to.
A miserable kid doesn't play well and will give it up, theres a reason why there's so many other options out there. Its not the same fit for everyone
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Post by spectator on Nov 18, 2014 10:14:25 GMT -5
You've gotten a variety of feedback here. Ultimately he is your son - you are his parent - you will make whatever parenting choice you feel is best for you and your family.
All I can offer is what I would - what I did do: At U13, my daughter was on a team that was a complete disaster - mix of talent was too vast - some girls ready for a top level - some just a breath away from bad rec. It was the pitfall of being at the small club where we were at the time - the talent pool was just not deep and some girls were not being challenged. To make matters even worse, we were placed in a division that was well above the lowest level players on our team and we could not compensate for the weakest links. We lost every game but one - and that was a tie. TWO points to show for an entire season and I think we had 50+ goals scored against us. Players would leave the field in tears after games.
She was miserable and we had an opportunity to leave to join another team mid season but as a family discussed it and decided that we made an obligation to that club, that team and that coach that was more important than winning a game or two. To quit - and to let down friends and teammates wasn't what we wanted her to take away from what was the first and worst of the adversities she'd be facing as she advanced through soccer and her teen years. She was more miserable about losing than with her coach or teammates so we had more of bond to stay than to quit.
That was our choice - two years later, I think my daughter is stonger for it. She understands that not every bad day is 'THE END OF THE WORLD' like many teen girls tend to overreact and say. Our running joke in the house is "9 and 0" - the score of the worst game that little U13 team ever lost - we tell her you survived 9-0, you can survive anything.
So that was our choice and our reasoning when faced with the similar situation you are in. Your circumstances, choice and reasoning will be your own. I do wish you the best and the best choice for your family - it's hard this first year of Select - lots of variables and less flexibility than you have with Academy. What I can tell you two years later - is it does get better. You know more and can make a better decision about what and where is best for your child.
And seriously - even if you do quit - shop around for where you want to try out and do some privates with coaches there. They can assess your son and give you and idea of where he will land in their club. Find a team from another club that's registered for indoor and see if you can get him on that roster in the off season. It'll give him touches and exposure - - - and more importantly - it may give him the joy of the game back!!!!
Good luck
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Post by RedDevil10 on Nov 18, 2014 10:33:20 GMT -5
Thanks for all the replies !!
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Post by Kick Goals 10 on Nov 18, 2014 12:22:51 GMT -5
I had a similar situation at a smaller club @ U12. Not bad coaching, just turnover in mid season. It caused the parents to split based on the opinion of each coach. Since it was a smaller club, we were having problems fielding enough quality players to play 11V11. There was 5-6 quality players on the team. We started hearing that the core group of girls were going to go elsewhere after the season ended. We all stuck together through the end of Spring. Once my daughter finished at the AC and no post season tournaments, I contacted a larger club, who was hosting a post season tournament. Once I got cleared by current DOC, I contact the new DOC and asked if my daughter to come to practice...which she did.Once at practice (pooled practice) I noticed she finished with the top team. I asked the coach if he needed any guest players for the tournament. He did have some injuries...so he said yes. My daughter played very well in the tournament (Lost in finals PK's). With that said went to tryouts this Fall and made the top team (Athena B). Now we are moving to Athena A in Spring. This has been the best move at the time for my daughter. I guess this is one way to approach it.
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