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Post by Soccerhouse on Feb 18, 2015 9:25:06 GMT -5
From soccer america-- Six Reasons Parents Should Not Watch Practice www.socceramerica.com/article/62639/six-reasons-parents-should-not-watch-practice.html?c=37517#replyi posted this comment on the site and will add to it. agree and disagree. main reason i disagree is the kids have 5 hours of practice a week and typically one 60 minute game a week. in that 60 minute game some kids will play 30 minutes others 60. its often more rewarding watching your kid train vs play for 30 minutes against a disappointing side because your team isn't challenged. and most importantly for the younger ages its about training vs games. why is ok to watch games then?? agree though, that parents should keep a distance. stay off the field, and watch from a distance. get some exercise and pause to watch to some moments and then exercise some more. the point you are trying to make is don't sit there with a heater watching 5 hours a practice then when your kid gets in the car rip him to death! every kid, every player makes mistakes on the field. i think there is nothing wrong with parents watching all practices from a distance. if that's what they want to do, and they aren't over bearing and remain positive with their children. they grow up fast and before your know it they go from u8 to u18, there is nothing wrong with parents trying to enjoy that. I know some will disagree, and i think what happens as well, as the kids grow up you tend to watch less and less of their sessions. from standing their every minute as a u8 to dropping them off at u14 and leaving. one thing for sure, our club has an absolute rule, no parents allowed on the fields during training. one big thing the article doesn't mention (unless i missed it), if they are adamant about this then the club/coaches has to give feedback to parents and players, both positive and negative. lastly, i'm aware of few parents as well, that have joint custody with their exs so that time at practice they are their to show support for their children and be involved in their lives from a distance. some at times are over bearing and you can see it affects the children, and thats where a good coach can step in an help out. |
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Post by spectator on Feb 18, 2015 10:26:36 GMT -5
Contrary to my chosen user name, I believe practice is NOT a spectator sport. When the fields have been too far from my house to return home, I have hung around with other parents, exercised or run errands.
I can see parents hanging around if the children are very young (6 and under) but once you hit U9 Academy, drop and go - or at least drop back and let the kids work with coaches not look over at mommy. I've found the same parents who park it at the field to watch every second of a practice are also the ones who coach from the sidelines in a game - the kids get trained to look over at mom or dad and don't listen to their coach.
As for coaches giving feedback to parents, maybe when the kids are young but from U13 on, the relationship is between the player and the coach - parents are the checkbook and the ride there (until the kid turns 16 and can drive himself)
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Post by allthingsoccer on Feb 18, 2015 14:08:36 GMT -5
I'm on the fence about this. I see the good and bad that come with watching training.
I have parents that watch goalkeeper training all the time. If they do, I always let them know to just "watch" and not to mention any of the mistakes that they may have made during practice. Always, Always mention the good things. "man that save was great that you did", or I can see you are getting better..etc...
I feel it's very important for the younger kids parents to see how their child is developing. The club training might not be enough so doing "extra" training at home is very important toward the development. The parent/s might have seen ways that they can help. I always let the parents know of things the keeper needs to work on at home if they can.
I know that some coaches don't speak with the parents as often as we would like. So some almost feel it necessary to watch practice to see how they are developing. Again, I'm all for it as long as you just watch.
I have seen some parents boil red during practices. I'm sure the poor player gets an ear full in the car ride home. Unfortunately, I can not stop this parent/s for doing that but I can ask that parent/s not to be at the practice fields.
The kids know when they make mistake. Their peers let them know and coach lets them know. Why add to that to create extra pressure??
Always have the 48 hr rule. After the game only talk soccer when the player brings it up. Offer encouragement. After the 48 hrs ask them... Hey,... how do you think you did? What do you think you could improve? Oh really why do you think that? etc......
Better yet... Have your player go ask the coach. How do you think I did? What do I need to work on?
You will find by asking these open ended questions will allow your child to speak freely (cause they aren't afraid), their answers will be more honest, and it will create a great open communication between you two/three. It will also help you the parent to "trust" your child.
Anyways, my pennies to the conversation.
Cheers,
J4K
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Post by 4theloveofsoccer on Feb 18, 2015 15:51:07 GMT -5
Good article to share as I should share this to some parents I know. The big one that sticks out is being too critical of your child's play. I have seen way too many times parents be too hard on them, by letting them know every mistake they made during practice and games. These same parents are the ones who are also coaches on the sidelines. It is hard to see a kid play and always look at the sidelines at their parents approval and/or dis-approval. Just let the kid play! In my opinion these kids will unfortunately be the ones to quit the game sooner rather than later, because of the amount of pressure being put on them at such a young age. In the end the article has excellent points with #4 and #5. The kids play for their coach and team, not for us parents. And ultimately they should choose to want to play without any additional influence from us.
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Post by youthsoccerdad on Feb 18, 2015 22:47:51 GMT -5
Parenting, well there are multiple paths and they can all get you to a happy place. Sure there are some parents that are too intense with sports. I know a few who believe their kids should grow up without any parental interference, stay out as late as they want, and live a life without rules. With that said, there are probably 100 million kids (making a number up) living on this planet that would give anything to have parents who participated in their life and cared about their activities and made sacrifices to give them an opportunity to play soccer competitively. There is no absolute answer you can nail in a forum, but when you see it most parents can probably agree that it is over the line at the field or at home.
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Post by SoccerMom on Feb 19, 2015 8:44:55 GMT -5
I stay at almost all of my kids practices....Im at the fields almost every day. I half watch though, I usually just socialize or get other things done. I have left them there before and come back and run some errands. I dont criticize them for their training at all, and kids like the fact that I;m around, they always ask after practice if I saw them do a certain thing or if something funny happened they want to know if I saw it.
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Post by Soccerhouse on Feb 19, 2015 8:57:23 GMT -5
the comments on the soccer america page are pretty good. It think the author of this article assumes every freaking coach is Pep and that every player is a phenom......
here is the last one, classic:
"I see where this article is coming from, and I have learned a lot about how to be a better soccer parent by reading the articles on this site. However, every situation is different. In my case, we are stuck in a pretty poorly run program with subpar coaching. More than anything, when I occasionally am able to make it to a practice for my U9 girl, I'm making sure the coach isn't yelling at and berating the girls."
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Post by newposter on Feb 19, 2015 19:53:48 GMT -5
Contrary to my chosen user name, I believe practice is NOT a spectator sport. When the fields have been too far from my house to return home, I have hung around with other parents, exercised or run errands. I can see parents hanging around if the children are very young (6 and under) but once you hit U9 Academy, drop and go - or at least drop back and let the kids work with coaches not look over at mommy. I've found the same parents who park it at the field to watch every second of a practice are also the ones who coach from the sidelines in a game - the kids get trained to look over at mom or dad and don't listen to their coach. As for coaches giving feedback to parents, maybe when the kids are young but from U13 on, the relationship is between the player and the coach - parents are the checkbook and the ride there (until the kid turns 16 and can drive himself) |
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Post by newposter on Feb 19, 2015 19:56:47 GMT -5
For me staying at practice is not an option. I chose to drive 50 minutes to the club my child plays at; I don't get involved in practice. Rather I socialize with other parents or work. I also don't bring up practice or a game for that matter unless my child does. I like the other posters 48 hour rule.
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Post by soccergator on Feb 19, 2015 20:29:11 GMT -5
Big advocate of the 24 hour rule!
I'll just say that I've watched some practice sessions that are top notch! I'd sometimes would joke that more parents should come watch the sessions because they were textbook and educational!
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Post by rifle on Feb 19, 2015 21:36:55 GMT -5
I go to Taco Mac
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